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Best birthday ever...Not

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by paperyostrich, Apr 18, 2013.

  1. paperyostrich

    Regular Member

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    Well, today is my birthday. It was all going brilliantly and I was having a great time with my friends. For those who don't know (All of you) I (was earlier) sort of in a relationship with soneome. We were dating more than anything, but he promised that I was the one for him, and he also promised no sex whilst dating, which I didn't mind; I'm not big on the whole sex thing anyway. Back to the story though, I was in Mcdonalds with my friends (I wasn't eating) and I was wondering why my dating thing (whatever you want to call him) hadn't text me or had any contact with me yet saying happy birthday.

    I, being curious, decide to text him, so I do. He replies with "I've done something horrible" Wondering what that could be text "What's the matter?" The long and short of it is that basiclly, only like 3 days in, he had cheated on me with his best friend, who is apparently now gay. He told me yesterday that he was going to meet him, but I didn't really think about it, I mean he is aloud to have friends and all of course. I, of course was very upset and then asked him why he did this; he replies with "I accidently did it" How the fudge do you "accidently" have sex with someone? I told him that, and he tried to blame it on me for some odd reason. He then started a sob story about how he was sexually abused when he was younger and now has "impulses" subconsiously for sex or something like that, which I don't believe.

    In the end, he said he'd make it easy for me and he stopped talking to me. I've had no contact since and I'm an emotional wreck. And all this on my 18th birthday, what's ment to be one of the best day of my lives. Ruined.

    This dosen't really have anything to do with anythingelse. I just wanted to get it off my chest.
     
  2. catatonie

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    Sexual dysfunctions and compulsions are really common in survivors of CSA. It can seriously fuck with your sense of sexuality and how you seek out intimacy.

    Sorry you got cheated on or whatever though.
    Happy belated birthday?
    There's always next year.
     
  3. CrazyAntFarm

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    Hey, sorry that happened to you. It sucks to hear something like that on your birthday.

    I don't know the guy you were dating, so I won't judge him too harshly, but if it means anything, at least he was man enough to be upfront and honest and with you about what happened. Then again, he did try and blame for you the situation, so he sounds like a jerk...

    Even though you're hurt right now, I wish you all the best in recovering from this. How long did you date him? Is he worth forgiving and being given another chance? If not, I would say just be thankful that you dodged a bullet and found out the type of person he was early on...


    Also, this is true, but that's only if the guy was telling the truth about what happened. And even if he was being truthful, I would hate to hear that from him as an excuse for his infedility. That's something he should work out in counseling before trying to pursue some type of monogamous relationship, or at the very least, inform the TC about the situation upfront (assuming you two had a mutual agreement to exclusively date each other).
     
    #3 CrazyAntFarm, Apr 18, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2013
  4. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Let's just say that your 21st birthday is the proper important birthday, I think more important than your 18th.

    Sorry this has happened to you I'd want to kill myself if is was in your position (that didn't help), but don't worry you'll survive.

    One day someone will surprise you, and he'll be the one, I promise.
     
  5. Mystory

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    that completely sucks man! And on your 18th as well =/. You should try however, to enjoy as much of it as you can with your other friends. He took away your trust, don't let him take away you day as well.
     
  6. Zaio

    Zaio Guest

    I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't feel sorry for the guy. He cheated on him, told him on his birthday, and is using his past abuse as an excuse. Sorry, but that's not acceptable. Yes, child sexual abuse can mess with your mind and sexuality, but that in no way justifies what he did. If he's that incapable of remaining monogamous, he shouldn't be in relationships in the first place until he's worked on it.

    OP - I'm so sorry this happened to you, what an 18th birthday hey? That sucks hard, but there's always next year. He didn't deserve you, and don't for a second think you're to blame at all. Don't let it bother you though, at least he did it earlier rather than later, right? So you didn't waste much time on him. May be late, but happy birthday anyway.

    All the best.