Introvert needs her alone time

Well, assuming you would be a drag if you went, I think it's good that you stayed home. She probably just didn't wanna go alone or something. Although, seeing as you have more experience than me, take my words with a bucket of salt.

 

Compromise is an important part of a relationship, and sometimes compromise can mean going along even when you know you'll feel cranky and not getting cranky, especially if the event is important to your partner. But communication is also an important part of a relationship. If she's not an introvert, she might not get that just because you don't have the energy to go out and see friends doesn't mean you don't like them or her anymore.

I would say the first thing you should do is talk with her honestly about it. If coming to an understanding is enough, that'll take care of it; if it isn't, then you'll both be better equipped to come to a compromise that satisfies you both.

 

Everyone (introverts, extroverts) in a relationship needs time alone, it's important.

Orthodox Jewish couples, when married, have set times to be apart (i.e. no sex), coinciding with the woman's period. Yes the connotations of uncleanness etc. are, on the surface, repulsive, but the point is that it was long ago recognized as important that the people in a married relationship need to be on their own on a fairly regular basis.

Perhaps your partner also needs time alone?

 

It's perfectly normal to want time alone and also to not always do things as a couple even if doing things with friends.

My partner and I have different tastes in movies and while we like quite a lot and often go together, it is not unusual for me to go by myself or with friends to films that he would 'chew his arm off' rather than go see. Or he may go to some event sometimes that I have no interest in attending. We do plenty of stuff together where we compromise on this (I've learned to play music in my head and not drool to obviously) or both endure something neither really wants to do but we must for some reason (employment mandated parties for example - wheee).

You may have caught her at a point where she thought you'd want to go or had been looking forward to spending time with you and was disappointed when you just wanted to be alone. You might also want to have a conversation about it being all right for you to each sometimes do things without the other and that it doesn't mean you love and care for each other any less (assuming you haven't had this discussion already).

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

I pretty much agree with everyone here; it's essential for us introverts to have our alone time. While you care for your partner, and I'm sure she feels the same for you, you two both need some me time on occasion.

I work with preschool aged children 4 days a week, plus college classes, and so from Friday night until Monday morning I become a loner, lol! I'd go nuts without my me time!

 

Eliza, don't feel guilty. I know what it's like to come home after a long day too. You're exhausted both mentally and physically. You won't enjoy yourself and the others will pick up that vibe. You're better off just staying home, relaxing and doing what you want. I'm reminded of a small sticker a friend keeps pasted on his bathroom mirror. It simply states, "You Don't Have To"

 

It's important to have alone time in a lasting relationship, and it's also important that both partners understand this so that there's no hard feelings.

 

I have this same issue with my partner as well. It hurts them when you say "i need my space." Try phrasing it a different way, such as: "i need this afternoon to myself, maybe we can hang out tomorrow?" i feel so bad at times when I say no, and she seems disappointed and then sulks away. BUT, your mental health is also important for a healthy relationship. Do not feel bad and beat yourself up because you need you need to recharge your energy and unwind at home. this article really helped me a lot: If You Need Space in Your Relationship, Try Not to Say 'I Need My Space'