Haha okay , just gonna jump right into the situation here. So I had been basically crushing on my best friend, a striaght guy, for a while. Since 7th grade actually ._. Well, I'm a person who believes that things shouldn't be left unsaid, so I wrote a signed love letter to him, revealing my feelings. At this point, the letter was mostly a form of closure for me; for the most part, I had already accepted the impossibility of a relationship between us. However, to my astonishment (and enjoyment) he actually accepted the letter and admitted to being gay. He said he's been in the closet for about 4 years and was now planning to come out after high school. He also admitted to liking me too. As you can imagine, I was extremely happy, and he seemed to be too. In fact, he was extremely involved in the relationship, and was eager to utilize any opportunity we had to kiss and talk all coupley. Also, he told me things that he felt that I'm convinced that he wouldn't have felt unless he was gay. But then, after a while, he told me (Over Skype) that he was, in fact, straight, and broke up with me. The next time I saw him, he gave no indication of our past relationship, and had already informed all the friends that knew about us. As you can imagine, I was pretty hurt and didn't know what to say, so I avoided him for a few days. When I finally got my feelings under control, I spoke to him and he said that he was just confused and that he's definitely straight. So now, the question. While I'm not in any mood to open up to anyone again, including him, I'm seriously wondering, da frick is going on with him? And what should I do? I don't want him to actually realize that he's gay when he's in the middle of a marriage, but at the same time, I don't want to offend him by pushing him and further straining our friendship. I just care about him and want to see him secure in himself and not deal with that whole self loathing thing if he does happen to be gay. Any advice? :'D
It's really great that you're concerned for him, even noble of you, but I think the truth of the matter is that if this is what he's putting on the table now - that he's straight and was just confused - then there may not be much you can do for him at the moment. This is something he's going to have to sort out on his own. As for what's going on in his thoughts - who can say? If you want to be there for him as a friend - if you're even able to do that at this point - that's great, but I don't think you owe him that. He ended the relationship, and if you're not comfortable being friends at that point, that's alright. You have the right to decide for yourself where you want to draw your boundaries.
Alright, thanks for the reply. I doubt we'll be seeing much of each other after high school, and I think it's just for the best to make a clean break. I figure that he'll sort out his feelings about this just fine without me. Again, thanks for the advice. And I never felt noble about caring about his feelings first. I've always figured that that's what friends do, right? -shrug-
