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The difficulty of being Gay?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by clarkec1, Apr 22, 2013.

  1. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    (Sigh) It's just so difficult being gay. Do you think the same?

    Us gays have such a hard life when it comes to love. Firstly, we sometimes have to go through all of the bullying and discrimination if the people we work with are homophobic.

    Secondly, it can be sooooooo so so hard to find out if someone is gay. Whether we fancy them, or just want more gay friends etc, it's so difficult to discover if someone is gay or not. Sometimes people seem like they are gay, and other times they seem as though they would never even look at the same-sex for anything more than friendship.

    Thirdly, we can only go out with the other 10% of the population that are gay or lesbian.

    This isn't really a question, but I just want to know that I am not the only one who thinks that being gay is difficult.

    Thanks in Advance!
     
  2. gibson234

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    I don't personally have much experience with finding gay people to date and whatever however I think that if you search for gay people whether that be on websites or LGBT meetings then you'll find them as at the end of the day they are looking for gay people as well. Plus even if there harder to find, partners of the same sex are better as their easier to understand. Most straight couple's arguments judging by my friends are the two sexes not getting each other.
     
  3. lull23

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    At least you don't have the pressure of finding the right girl, settling down, church wedding, 2.4 kids.

    We've got it easy!
     
  4. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    To be honest. I do want to find the right boy, get married in a church, settle down, and have kids. To me I think that we haven't got it easy. I just want to get a bf...
     
  5. lull23

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    Why?
     
  6. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    Well, I have actually only got my eye on one boy. So I just want him to be boyfriend, nobody else.
     
  7. lull23

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    No shit? You should make a post about him on here...

    ...
     
  8. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    I want him because he seems so nice, and I just want more that a friendships.
     
  9. cm81990

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    You are only 13! I'm almost 10 years older than you and never had an actual "real" relationship with another guy. Not once. So hang in there. You could be almost 23 without ever having a single boyfriend.
     
  10. GayAndHappylol

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    Yeah its difficult.Especially at school..i got my own group of friends,but lol..all the others know my as the gay guy.Well in my country not many people accept gay guys so..But yeah its a difficult life..but you know its worth it..i mean even i was going to be born again..i would like to be born gay.I regret nothing from my life,even if its difficult sometimes.
     
  11. greatwhale

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    It's not so easy being straight either!

    Relationships are the difficult part, whether gay or straight. Relationships can be heaven or hell, depending on so many things.

    The only thing that most people with experience will tell you is that you have to find someone who is as similar to you as possible. Not the same, but someone with common interests, personality and goals. That is the only harder part about being gay, for now...in 10 years time, with the increasing acceptance of gay marriage, etc. it may be a whole lot easier to find someone who is compatible by the time you will be seriously dating!

    Rejoice!
     
  12. You certainly aren't the only person who feels this way. Everything you've said rings true to me, but what can you do? Are lives are going to be more difficult than the average straight persons for many reasons, but if the reward is love, happiness and acceptance of who you are then I say bring on the hardship.
    And as for dating... -.-
    At my school a girls popularity seems to be in direct correlation with how many guys she's dated, so finding any lesbians is like trying to find a grain of salt in a haystack (the needle was just too damn big) Nobody dares come out, for fear of ridicule and judgement. (sound familiar?)
    But chin up, you're thirteen! Uni will be a whole new world if what I've been told on the matter is true.
     
  13. Mystory

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    I see it like this.
    Compared to a straight person, where heterosexuality is UNIVERSALLY accepted, being gay is made a lot more difficult by the fact that it isn't universally accepted, and moreover the fact that, apparently, we form a minority (10% of the world's population is gay).

    I disagree that being "straight" is of equal difficulty.

    Being gay means that, 90% of the population is crossed off the eligibility list for a potential mate. Not only this, the chances of finding someone is further diminished by the fact that the 10% also includes both gays and lesbians depending on the gender and the gender preferences. Furthermore, when you do find someone who is gay, and is within your sexual orientation, you have to be attracted to them. Then they have to be attracted to you. And then the final hurdle is whether or not their cultural/religious beliefs are in accord with this attraction, and whether or not they are willing to accept you and overcome this hurdle.

    Being straight on the other hand-> access to a larger pool of potential candidates- for the most part, apart from some cultures, any match where the interest is mutual should be accepted.

    So being gay and finding love is made that extra bit harder due to the fact that we are a minority, and the fact that there are social and cultural barriers that restrain our relationships, and furthermore, all of the problems and issue of straight people are also made relevant within the gay quota (e.g. attraction, interest, friendship zones, the fact that a person can be gay and not attracted to another gay person).

    So yes, I understand your frustration. It is hard to be gay- no questions about that.
     
  14. greatwhale

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    Of course the difficulties are not equal, of course it is more difficult to find the right person when there are so few to choose from; but it happens, despite the difficulties, gay people meet and fall in love and commit to strong and long-lasting relationships.

    I can look hard at the numbers and yet come to different conclusions, simply because it is impossible to predict whether it will get better or worse.

    The difficulty is primarily in that we LGBT folk will need to try harder, and we will need to make things happen, to get out there, rather than be passive. Let's organize Meetups rather than just attend.

    It's just never been easier to do so!
     
  15. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    It's probably less than 10%. Don't mean to be a debbie downer. Plus if you add in the number of gays that are closeted and hiding under heterosexuality or bisexuals choosing an opposite sex partner, the dating pool for an out gay man is probably 3-5% of the population. If that.
     
  16. The truth is it's not easy being people, it's not easing finding people you like forget being gay and straight that truly does not matter. You will have problems as a person on planet earth.
     
  17. HeyAshley

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    i don't think being gay is difficult.
    "lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep."

    maybe it's just because i can be slightly insensitive and i don't really care what people think. it might be harder to find the one you're looking for just because everyone is assumed as being "straight" until coming out otherwise. but other than that, no.

    now if you're all about being married and what not, then yes, it's definitely harder. but why is saying "i do" under oath so important? most of the gay population isn't even religious so i can't understand sometimes why people get so worked up over not being able to get married. if it's in your heart, you put a ring on your finger, what does a silly marriage license mean? lol i'll just stop now, i'm branching into a whole different category. my badddd.
     
  18. fortheloveoflez

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    truth.

    This is why we are fabulous.

    Life has it's trade-offs my dear.
     
  19. LILuke

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    I have shown approximately an equal inability to pursue girls and guys, even in cases where I have been flat out told that they are at least somewhat into me.

    So yeah....on the bright side, at least you're not that pathetic? :'(