I fell in love with my bestfriend when we were just about to graduate high school. We were bestfriends for like two years before I fell for him. In that two years, we were really close to the extent that some of our classmates suspected that we are in a relationship. He claims that he is straight, but deep in my mind I knew he has great tendencies to be gay. I thought that he was just then confused about his identity. I was open to him that I am always there to help him figure himself out. He never got offended whenever I tease him as gay, I guess he was just being a good friend and we were just so comfortable with each other. Those were the happiest two years of my life, and things got complicated after I fell in love with him.:tears: During college, we still see each other, but my feelings for him remained a secret. I decided to confess my feelings for him through a small parcel containing all the torn pages of my diary that talked about him, all the poems I made about him, all the stories and everything that showed how he really meant to me. Several days have passed and I received no reply from him. I knew he received the packaged because I was the one who handed it to him. I waited and waited but I remained clueless about his feelings. Guys are really not into showing emotions. Urgh. Then I decided to keep a distance away from him and cut our communication for several weeks, and he was I guess okay about it! We belong to one clique, and during our hangouts we are usually awkward because of what happened. After several weeks of being awkward, he surprisingly started to act as if nothing happened.:dry: I mean, there was no awkwardness all of a sudden. He started to talk to me again and borrow my notes and stuff. I admit I am actually glad we remained good friends (but not bestfriends anymore), but I am still clueless about what his feelings were when he received the package I sent him. Up to now, we never talk about the package again and all the time when I am with him, I always want to go: "Hey, remember the package I sent you? How did you feel about it? I mean, I didn't expect you to respond to it positively, I just wanted to know how you felt. You're my bestfriend, remember?" :rolle: However I am afraid that if I bring that subject up again, the awkwardness will come back. We're at least friends now, I'm happy that he didn't forget me all the way. Questions: What do you think was the reason why he didn't tell me his feelings about my feelings for him? Maybe ignorance is rejection? I thought about it, and now I am okay with the fact that we won't be in a relationship. Maybe he didn't want drama and just wanted to ignore it until he sees that I am okay. I just wanted to know, if you are a straight guy and you have a gay bestfriend who confesses his love for you, what will you feel? Will you just ignore it and leave your bestfriend hanging? Do you think I still have to bring this subject up when we have the chance to talk? And do you think we will be able to bring back our bestfriendship? Because honestly, I kinda missed my bestfriend sooooo much. (Disclaimer: I am not in love with him anymore.:icon_bigg)
Well I'm a girl but if I had a lesbian best friend who confused to me I would probably feel really awkward also because you would think they are just acting close because your best friends and not because they like you. So I would be shocked and it would probably be hard to handle and the friendship is never gonna be the same depending on the people of course. Everyone is different, some might find it more awkward than others. I personally wouldn't ignore it. Maybe I would for a while but I would get to it eventually. You would be surprised of how many people would just leave it alone, most people might say they would confront it but when it becomes reality their fears and awkwardness get the best of them. It is better you confront him if he doesn't confront you. It's hard to judge from a strangers perspective but you know him better than me of how he would react if you went to confront him about it. If you think that he will get awkward again then don't risk it, you might be able to go back to how it was before. If he isn't ignoring you now than it's a good sign that there is hope that you might be best friends again one day if you give it some time.
Aww well i used to have the same feelings for my best friend.You should bring it up if you see by his side that something pushes him to talk about it,because maybe he is afraid?You know not everyone is feeling the same about coming out.For example when i first thought im gay i was afraid and i was trying to forget it.Maybe it happens the same to him?Because not everyone likes what they are.Maybe if you talk to him about you can make him feel more comfortable about his sexual orientation..Now about the love part,he is aware that you love him but maybe he is afraid to confess back or tell you how he feels because he is afraid as i said before.You guys were best friends so he must feel weird and confused about it.
For me, it's an indicator or rejection. But he doesn't want to/know how to reject you without hurting you- and so he leaves the question unanswered because he doesn't know how to approach it delicately
not to burst your bubble but that's definitely rejection. if he is/was interested he would have responded to the package. it's probably within your best interests to just leave it be unless you want to be back at square 1 of the awkward stage because (assuming) he's straight, that's obviously a conversation he wasn't interested in discussing. consider yourself lucky to have a best (or, really close) friend that obviously accepts you the way you are. technically it's super crappy of him to not say anything to you about it at all but it's pretty understandable - he doesn't want to hurt you. for future advice and to cut your chances of being hurt, don't fall for someone unless they're interested in your gender. otherwise, you're just setting yourself up to get hurt.
You are no longer in love with him so i don't think what he feels/felt is no longer that important. So, my advice, let it go.
Thank you so much guys for the pieces of advice. It's a relief to realize that he really didn't intend to hurt me by rejecting me in front of my face. He's really a good friend. He accepted me for who I am, and now he continues to support me on whatever I do. But do you guys think that our bestfriendship will come back after what happened? We remain as friends now, and I kind of miss him as a best friend.
