I met this guy who is also 16 from a mutual friend at the movies a few months ago. My first impression of him was that he was cute and somewhat flamboyant, but I wasn't going to bother hitting on him because I don't hit on guys I don't know are gay even if I think they are or are in the closet. When I got home I saw he sent a friend request on Facebook and not to my surprise his "interested in" status said "women", so I accepted the request but I wasn't going to start messaging him. A few days went by and one night he started messaging me, and we ended up having a conversation about, well, everything basically, and after that I started to like him. Over the next few weeks we started to become closer friends and we would hang out on weekends. I found out a lot about him that might suggest he was gay, like the fact that he had never kissed a girl and hadn't had a girlfriend in about three years, but I assumed that might have been because he just wasn't lucky in that department, despite the fact that most of his friends were females. My feelings for him continued to grow but I just ignored them because I liked having him around as a friend. One day I did something really stupid, however. I was having a really horrible day and I was angry at virtually everybody. I impulsively decided to tell him I had a crush on him over Facebook. His response was "That was weird. I won't respond to that, but that was weird." I apologised to him after and he said it was fine, but he also added that his mum looks at his Facebook messages. I thought it might have hurt our friendship, but two days later he messaged me again and we established that we were still good friends. All was well, until... One night, about a week later, it was really late and he might have been drinking. I don't know if he does that, but it could have been a possibility since he acted kind of different and his typing was all over the place, but anyway, he started messaging me. I couldn't sleep because I saw a horror movie and I wasn't going to pass on this opportunity so we had a conversation. He was typing really fast and I couldn't keep up with all his messages. He said he deleted the message but he forgot what it was about and asked me again and I said "don't worry, sometimes I have a tendency to bring my feelings to everything." He asked "What feelings?" which I didn't see until I went back and read the messages the next day, but anyway, he asked if we could play "truth" and so we did. He started asking me things like when I realised I was gay, if I've done stuff with a guy, etc. And then the conversation started to get weird. He asked me if I was circumcised and if it was going to be confidential and he kept insisting that I could ask him anything, but my questions were a lot more boring than his. I asked him about girls once, which he passed on and went to bed after. My attempts to start another conversation with him after usually failed. But sometimes he would start them and we'd have long discussions again. Nothing as suggestive as that truth game, but one moment he'd act as if he was really interested and the next moment he would stop talking. We organised a time to go down town but the day before he told me he couldn't go. And then he deleted me on Facebook. I thought that was the end of our friendship so I moved on. One month later he added me again and I asked him why he deleted me. He said he didn't and it must've happened by accident. Things are back to the way they were now. He demands we only talk through inbox, and sometimes he doesn't reply. Sometimes he will annoy me and send me heaps on messages until I go on Facebook. This confused me a lot until last night when my friend said his mum doesn't want him to watch Glee (which is his favourite show) because of all the "gayness" on the show and his parents were homophobic. Maybe he's worried that his parents don't want him to have a gay friend, or maybe he's confused or curious about his sexuality and fears that I'll make him gay. I really want to stay his friend but we haven't seen each other in months and I still have feelings for him. I could ask him what's going on, but I don't really know what to ask or if he will take offense to it. I'm not really sure what to do, especially since I keep turning down other guys because I still like him.
First of all, you're turning down guys at the age of 16? Damn, that's pretty good. To me, based off of your post, it sounds like your friend might be confused and embarrassed. Some days he really wants to talk about you being gay so he can understand it better, and other days he is in deep denial. I've been there before. It just sounds like he's unsure of his sexuality, and if his parents are homophobic, then he might want to repress it. The question about circumcision was definitely a weird one though, I have no explanation of that. If you have alternative people to date or be friends with, like you claim at the end there, then go for it if you want. Don't hold yourself back because of somebody else, who may not even be gay, but just interested in your gayness. Then again, I could be totally off the mark here and completely wrong about my analysis, as I don't know this person at all. If you really like him though, maybe he's worth waiting around for, if indeed he is bi/gay. Good luck though.
From my perspective I don't think you should hold out for this guy if you keep getting mixed messages like that, sure keep in touch and try stay friends but I don't think you should wait for someone who keeps leaving you hanging. Heck, maybe him seeing you playing the game (so to speak) might trigger a response from him that will be the giveaway as to whether he is gay/bi/into you, though that shouldn't be your motive for dating other guys. I feel like I'm doing this wrong. Anyway, good luck hope it all works out for you
