Ok, my cousins' families are split in two- there are, i think ,9 brothers/sisters, and they're socially dicided deliberately. They won't talk to each other, and toi makes things worse, when their mom died, her gravestone mentioned everyone except two daughters, just because the daughter who paid for the entire funeral didn't like them( the wife of one of the sons was put in,to replace the 2 mentioned sisters.) Now, i know that this feud does not concern me, but yet my family is still affected. They seem to like to shun others whether it comes to how much money is in that person's bank to sexuality (in which i come in), and they talk amongst each other about so many people, they're pretty much causing trouble. The men involved are traditional, macho men, while some women are borderline conservative-viewed. I'm scared as to what to do. so my question is: what do i do?
Not a thing. Do your best to treat everybody as an individual, rather than worrying about what "side" they're on. When you hear gossip about anybody in your family, recognize it for what it is, and don't participate. If you're called to task for "choosing sides" (that is, talking to somebody on "the other side"), tell them the truth - that all these feuds and whatnot don't concern you, and you're trying to maintain a decent relationship with everybody. Lex
i agree with lex. i know it may be hard but sometimes the best thing to do is to try and stay out of it. my brothers dont get along for reasons idk and both say some unpleasant things to each other and behind each others backs and yes, its really hard to stay out of it (of course i am no angel and might join in on occasions). however, i do try as hard as i can to stay neutral and out of any arguments they may have. so basically, stay out of it if you can and if you are dragged into it, dont 'choose a side', stay neutral and get out of it as soon as you can. sometimes one of the best ways to stay out of a feud is to walk out of the room. idk if i am any good at giving advice, but i do hope this helps.
I'm with lex and awsome. Don't whatever you do let yourself be dragged into 'sides', of course this is not easy but there is no solution to this sort of situation, it is mean and stupid. How unkind can you get not putting someone's name on a headstone! Faced with this sort of stupid hurtfulness you can do nothing. You can't choose your family, you just have to put up with them, you don't even have to like them just try to get on as best as you can. Sorry I can't really be of much help but I do feel for you torn between family members.
You're only 15, and therefore still living on your parents financial support, so I suggest waiting until you've moved out into uni or whatever before telling them. That also helps for parents who think it it may just be a "phase" since you're older.
