My ex-girlfriend (my first and only) has just found a new girlfriend, and I kinda figured seeing them together everywhere because she doesn't hang out with anyone but the select few she feels close with who can be counted on one hand. The funny thing is, I have absolutely no feelings of jealousy and I don't particularly want her back, but I still feel uneasy when I see them together... O-o I've never had an ex before and so I've never experienced that feeling when they get together with someone else, but it's still strange. Can anyone offer a possible explanation? Maybe because she's so awkward and obviously unsocial, and yet she's already got a new girlfriend before I do? But I'm not bitter and I don't have any wishes that they'll break up. I even have someone I'm hoping to win the heart of myself. I guess I'm just wondering, "how the hell did this happen?? :eek:" because her new girlfriend is so nice and friendly to people and my ex is....not. She's a bit rude and snarky and terribly unsociable to the point that it would embarrass me to have my friends around her and the way she would treat them. Any thoughts? O-o
hi noir it sounds to me like what you're feeling is the casual awkwardness of seeing your ex. in public, who also happens to be dating someone else. Is your girlfriend's sour social graces the reason why you split? when two unlikely people get together, it is alwayssss surprising..im wondering if you think your ex doesn't deserve such a nice and friendly person when she doesn't reciprocate that vibe. don't feel embarrassed! it's good you acknowledge your feelings about this so that you can now choose how to overcome it. If you see them, will you say hi? or pretend you didn't see them? what you're feeling is completely normal, happens to everyone. hope this helped ease your mind a bit
Thank you so much! I don't feel like such a weirdo now, lol. Her "sour social graces" are indeed part of the reason I broke up with her--that, we didn't really have anything in common, and she was far too clingy and made me feel uncomfortable. I feel like she was just so psyched to have her first girlfriend just for the sake of having one that she kinda suffocated me I always say hi and wave if I see them, but I don't go our of my way to talk to her. Even before with her one other close friend, my ex tended to...what's the word..."hover" around but there was a noticable barrier she put up to block the rest of the world. She tends to notably sit further away at the dining hall with either her close friend (who's a guy and even more sour and unsociable than her--he won't even answer you if you try to talk to him)/ her new girlfriend at a table in an isolated area. That, or she'll just show up uninvited to my table where the rest of my friends are sitting and ignore everyone, despite their best efforts to include her. If she does speak, it's some sarcastic comment. Then she'll complain on Facebook that she has no friends. It's quite awkward! Am I rude if I just leave her alone? I don't want to provoke her grouchiness, but I also don't want to seem bitter! She kind of gives me a funny look now whenever I pass her that I can tell means something like "oh--hi. You're the girl who stopped hanging out with me after you dumped me to be with your OTHER friends." It's those kinds of dagger looks, you know?
I think it's fine if you decide to leave her alone completely. And if you happen to see her out and about, it is okay not to speak to her. I mean, most people do not remain friends with their ex anyway, so I don't think it's a big deal. You broke up with her for a reason, so there's no need to maintain any type of relationship. I am friends with an ex and things are okay between us. However, it was a bit weird when she started dating a girl whose name was the same as mine. I guess it was just weird hearing my name repeatedly. It was also a bit awkward hanging out with them together because this girl had no respect for my friend. She was a bit drunk on one occasion and she touched me very inappropriately; let's just say that she's no longer around. Any-who, enough of my rambling and forget your ex and go after this person you've been pursuing, good luck with that
