I confessed my feelings for my gay friend. he and my other friend arent friends now

Re: I confessed my feelings for my gay friend. he and my other friend arent friends n

I'm confused here, you said that you care for him which I assumed you want to be with him, but at the same time you told him that you can't be with him? I'm fairly new here, so I might be wrong, but here's what I think:

There are 3 ways I see your problem, but before moving on, I have to ask, are you hoping to be in a relationship with N or just friends or see how it goes?

1. From the word "can't" there, I assumed that by always playing game, you meant sports games or any other competitive event that requires you to constantly train, so you don't have time to be with him. Now, if this is the case, then you just simply have to arrange with N of times that both of you could compromise to be together.

2. You mentioned that you think and talk about yourself. Is it all the time? I'm really not sure why you told him that, but at the same time you want to care for him. Perhaps what you're trying to say is, "I think and talk about myself most of the time, but I am willing to change?"

3. You told him how you play (video?) games alot and only talk about yourself, yet you want to care for him. This leads me to assuming that deep down, you prefer to be alone with your game than with him?

I'm sorry, but this is confusing to me as I can't put my thoughts into words, I mean not be harsh, but why would you tell him these things if you know that you might not be able to care for him if you are this person. To be in relationship, both sides have to find balance in times for each other and oneself. One can't expect to care all about himself and expect the other to care about him as well.

Or maybe, deep down, you are afraid that things will not go smoothly, so you purposedly told him those traits, so that he would not want to be with you. (defense mechanism?)

All in all, you are still very young and the way you present yourself shows alot of rooms for self development (becoming more mature) which is great. Until then, i need you to reply with better details on your feelings and here's me hoping the senior members would be able to give better advices.

About the conflict between N and L, I had similar case, but this is me, don't do this until other approve!. What I did, I secretly arrange meetings with both of them pretending 1-on-1 meetup. So the three of us (me and my 2 friends hating each other) are in one room. I insisted them to put down their hatred towards each other first and be civilized. Then I told them one at a time to confess the reason (once again) why they hate each other followed by what are the good things that each has done to the other. Then I asked them if they are willing to apologize to each other and make changes in attitude for the sake of our friendship as what we had were precious and it hurts to lose it. I was hoping they would make peace, but alas, even though they apologized, they can't be friends and they agreed to put down their difference when I need both of them at the same time (such as on my birthday).

Again the society around you are still very young, so these conflicts are pretty common. It is worse, if your friends asked you to choose sides.