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Are friends with benefits realistic?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kingzap321, Apr 30, 2013.

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  1. kingzap321

    kingzap321
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    Ok to start out i have this friend of mine she is a girl (she knows that im bi/gay) and we have been talking about the possibility of having a sexual relationship, but just that. Now i know that i will not get attached to her because to me having a regular relationship with a girl is well, repellent. But im wondering is it realistic to have that type of activity with someone straight and expect them to not get attached to me? She says she could do it but im not 100% sure. thanks for any feed back =]

    Luke. =]
     
    #1 kingzap321, Apr 30, 2013
  2. Pain

    Pain Guest

    Having friend with benefits can totally happen and work out well. Make sure that you communicate what you're looking for, and it should all work out fine.
    Having this sort of relationship with someone takes trust.
     
    #2 Pain, Apr 30, 2013
  3. kingzap321

    kingzap321
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    Here im going to add some more info lol, she asked me out like a moth ago or so and i said no and i told he i was because i was gay. now that being said she DID want to have a relationship with me but since we are talking A LOT now it had come up and well i just dont know if she still might have feelings for me thats all

    Luke. =]
     
    #3 kingzap321, Apr 30, 2013
  4. Sully

    Sully
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    Recipe for disaster IMO. She obviously likes you. That's pretty clear, if you start having sex she'll probably become attached and you'll end up breaking her heart. I think you should recognise that this isn't going to be good for her of you in the long run.
     
    #4 Sully, Apr 30, 2013
  5. kingzap321

    kingzap321
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    So why do you think that it would be bad for me in the long run? i cab see her being upset if she gets attatched and i have to break it off but other than removing that one person from my life there wont be much of an impact on me, im not trying to sound cold im just saying it as i see it.
     
    #5 kingzap321, Apr 30, 2013
  6. Van

    Van
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    It wouldn't work for me. I don't know how it is with other people, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't (and wouldn't, I guess) do this. Knowing myself, I'm sure that I'll be the one who'll end up having more than oh-we're-just-friends-feelings for the other person. I'm clingy and can fall for someone real quick. Do whatever makes you happy as long as nobody gets hurt. But if you think that a possible relationship based exclusively on sex with your friend could jeopardize your friendship - cuz let's cut the crap, when feelings are one-sided there's no more we're-just-friends - then I would reconsider it. But maybe that's just me.
     
    #6 Van, Apr 30, 2013
  7. Quaiv

    Quaiv
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    Sully's right, IMO. I mean, she asked you out, you refused, and now she says she just wants to have sex? I think she's just trying to have some kind of relationship with you, and will settle for friends with benefits if that's the only thing she can get. As for what you have to lose, well... She's a friend of yours (else you can't call it friends with benefits), so you'd lose a friend (while knowing you could have avoided it).
     
    #7 Quaiv, May 1, 2013
  8. June Cleaver

    June Cleaver
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    Last year I had a straight man who wanted FWB with me. I did it. No problems on my end, but the first couple of times he acted strange for a few days after because he was shocked that he liked sex better with me than his GF. He is still my friend, but I ended the sex when I got Mike. He has many times sugested he missed out by not taking me while I was single. He really enjoyed the sex and I did too. So it can work and be a great experence. June
     
    #8 June Cleaver, May 1, 2013
  9. kingzap321

    kingzap321
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    thanks so far for the advise everybody =]. ok so going off what you guys have said i could do it but the most likely lose the friend. now my friendship with her in my mind is not very conventional. For example she is messing around with this guy that is in our class, and she like him and all but we both dont think its going to work out. but she tells me all the details about it and she is always asking for advise. anyway one day we were texting and you know she was like, "i hope it works out with(fill in name), cause i really wana have sex with him" i said "well if it doesnt then i could help you out with that type of thing." she said she would be willing to try if she cant have the other guy. now we later talked about how it would just be for fun and sexual release and not a actual relationship and she said that would be a possibility. Finally we talked about not going as far as penetration, and i agreed. so just oral and hands and stuff.
    lol i know my train of thought is hard to follow so please bare with it. now all of this being said do any of you think that might change things? thanks for commenting =]

    Luke. =]
     
    #9 kingzap321, May 1, 2013
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