Hi, so first of I want to say that I love my mum to death and for the most part really enjoy being around her. But... some of the things she says really hurt me. A couple of days ago we had a fight and, although she seems to be acting like it never happened now, I can't really get over what she told me. The argument started in the car when she was insisting on me wearing lipstick. We've actually argued about this a lot, playfully, because I don' like wearing makeup and she thinks that it's part of being "proper". I usually cave-in, but today for whatever reason I told her I didn't want to. Bad choice. All of a sudden she tells me that I'm not her little girl anymore, that she doesn't know where she went wrong with me. She then tells me that I've changed, and that I've lost my morals. WOAH MUM, we were talking about lipstick for goodness sake, not murder. Anyways, now she's on full on lecture mode, and says that she doesn't know me anymore, bringing up another argument I had with her not to long ago about gay rights. She says I used to be a little princess but look at me now. I tell her I'm happy and there's nothing wrong with who I am. (And although I haven't come out to her yet, we both know what this is really about) She goes silent, and after a little while turns on the radio. Just when I think the argument has passed, the two men on the radio start to talk about... gay marriage. One awkward minute later, my mum angrily turns off the radio. She then starts spewing off about how she never thought about the bad things of this culture when she decided to move here. (I was born in Texas, moved to Canada when I was still a baby.) I don't say anything, because really I don't think I could say anything in this situation that wouldn't anger her further. We're both silent for a little while, until finally I ask her if she's angry with me. She says no, but after a moment's pause tells me that she still loves me, but she doesn't like me anymore. Then, she kicks me out of the car. Now, she's pretending the argument never happened, which is good I guess. She doesn't know how much she hurt me though. I cried quite a bit that night. I just can't get over the fact that she told me she didn't like me. She seemed so cold at that moment, I genuinely felt scared of what she would do if she found out I wasn't straight. Sorry for the long post. I'm just feeling a little lost right now. I welcome any advice you guys might have.
Oh man, I'm sorry (*hug*) First of all let me tell you, this isn't a gay-straight thing. This is more of a teenage/parent thing. Your mom does still love you and like you, she is probably just having a hard time adjusting to the fact that you are your own being. You are maturing into something that she can't predict or control. In short your growing up and she's just trying to catch up as fast as she can. Just to give you a little insight, me and my mom had this one argument when I was in the 6th grade....i think that puts me at 13....anyway we got into this huge argument where I told her I hated her bf and it was either him or me. She chose him and at the time I thought it was the end of the world, that she didn't love me anymore and I even "ran away" that night. Well, slept in the back seat of the car that she didn't drive and where she couldn't find me. Looking back, I way over-reacted and now me and my mom are best friends. I'm not saying that you being not-striaght didn't have anything to do with the argument or that you and your mom will never fight again. What I am saying is, that she did lecture you....twice....she still cares and still loves you. Best bet, give her some time and then try to fix the bridge. Hope something in my ramblings helps your (*hug*)
I agree, my mum does this thing allot. because I'm a teenager. Not because I'm gay (which she disagrees with but yeah) Anyway, all I'm saying is it's not like this was all put on your sexuality. I think she just did not get the "perfect little princess" she wanted. This is common with most mums and their kids, of any ethnicity, gender or sexuality. I suppose it will sort itself out, in time.
Thanks for the replies. You're probably right about it being a teenager/parent thing. I guess I jumped to conclusions because she mentioned it during the whole "losing my morals" thing, and we had argued about it recently. (She has made it quite clear to me she considers it a sin) Anyways, I do feel better now. Just wish I knew how to talk to her without breaking out into another argument. I love her, but there's a lot we don't see eye-to-eye in.
