So there is a guy that I really like but he had like an iron heart and has trouble with romance but he is a giant jerk as some guys are and treats me very nicely but everyone else kinda bad he and I met online and have met in real life aswell so I know he is legit, okay here is the question what would you all do to try and soften up his heart because I can tell it has been trashed?
Hm, it`s always problematic when you start off a relationship trying to fix someone. Not saying you never can, but it`s a lot of work and afterwards often the magic seems to seep out, like you were attracted to a wounded soul, but when it`s no longer wounded you need a new one to fix. I always recommend against it, probably because I`ve been burned myself that way. But if you really want to try and fix him, just remember to think about yourself as well. If being with him is somehow bad for you, back off. You could simply tell him that you find him a lot more attractive when he`s being a nice guy, and less when you see him being less than nice to others. Or you could subtly dis-encourage the bad behavior when you are together. You could try to figure out why he is this way, encourage him to talk about past hurts, though in a subtle manner and not probe too obviously, as that might make him raise the defensive walls. Something like this takes a lot of time though, so don`t expect to make a change over night. *hugs*
Thanks for the solid advice he is an awesome guy and I enjoy any amount of time that we spend together but you arw right it will take time but he is broken I don't want to change him because I fell for him this way and him being someone else may just cause it to end. Also he doesn't treat people badly all the time just when they are being jerks to himself or me. He had chivalry best manners there is so much good but he has a hard time getting attached which is the issue.
Ok the real problem is he is having trouble getting into you? That is a big one! Some times it does take a little time durring the getting to know you process I understand. But by the time the dating is getting serious and comittment happens he MUST be into you imo. For in my life, the guys who get attracted tend to fall fast and always want to lock me in quickly. So I would say proceed with caution and do not give up your heart or you might find it broke. I have watched many girls fix a guy to find when he does not need her anymore he gets with the one he really wants leaving her used and broken. Keep that in mind. June
