My first love. :bang: I know I'm still young. And I know most people will say you're too young to be in love. But I am. I know I love her. She's the only person I think about. I always dream about her. Fantasize about her. I want her so badly. I would do anything to make her happy, even if I'm not. :dry: I would even take a bullet for her. :eek: The thing is, she's got a boyfriend. They love each other, it's perfect blah blah blah. :tears: Recently, I have found myself so turned on just by seeing her. She makes me really turned on, and we also hug/hold hands. (*hug*) She's my best friend, it's what happens. :bang: But, I've been seeing it as more than that. Like we're together. I want her to be mine so bad. :icon_redf I know she won't ever be, because she is straight. She knows I like girls and she is cool with it. :icon_bigg She's the one and only person who knows. :icon_redf My question is.. Is there any way I can move on? I don't want to tell her and destroy the relationship even though it will help me move on. :icon_sad: I can't do that to her, or me. Is there anything else I could do? Is there any way I could prevent this from happening in the future? :eusa_doh: Thank you for taking the time to read this, and help would be amazing, thank you :help:
Hi there! I used to be in the same situation, exactly like what you are describing. And from my personal experience, the best advice that I can give you is try your best to 'ignore' the feeling that you are having towards her. It's very easy to say that I know, but obviously it will be very hard to actually do it, but not impossible. It's been four years now that I have been having a crush on the same guy. I used to fantasize about him all the time and all the things that we could do if we were together and I always took every opportunity I had to be close to him (and the worst thing is he doesn't even know that I'm gay and he used to be quite homophobic). I even took him home after school every day (which is really far away) just so that I could hang out with him. But as time passes, the feeling you have towards that person will slowly disappear, it really will. I still have feelings for this guy, but not as much as i used to anymore. And after I graduate in two months, if i never see him again i won't even mind. There'll be many other lesbian girls out there who are meant to be with you! p.s. Your friend is an amazing person. She is very open-minded and everything
It's a part of life. We're attracted to who we're attracted to because of hormones. The sad thing is for us in the LGBT community, we're not always able to actually go and flirt with them, etc. It just is what it is. There's not necessarily something you can do to prevent it from happening, you just have to deal with it and do your best to move on.
Hello I've been in the same situation and I never told the girl I liked, she had a boyfriend. I agree with 'TSN2012', I think you should try and distance yourself from these feelings you have, I expect you don't want to try and break them up because you don't want to hurt her feelings. Those feelings will fade after some distancing and you will realise that you will find someone who isn't straight, it'll be best for you.
Yes to everything that has been said in this thread. I've been in the same situation for over a year now. I even wrote a very lengthy post about it on here. It's been tough, but I think I've finally reached a point where I've accepted it's never going to happen. The distance thing really helps. For me it was physical distance -- she went away for a month and I was allowed to get on with work and life stuff without the distraction. I found myself thinking of her less and less. Now she's back, the feeling is still there, I doubt it'll ever really go away, but it's muted and I'm kind of at peace, not anxious anymore. I'm not suggesting you don't see your friend anymore, but maybe limit the time you spend thinking of her. I still think of her, but it's usually just at the end of the day or if something reminds me of her. But when it happens I tell myself it's just a fantasy and it'll never actually be that way, and it kind of works. I hope you reach that point as well Sorry for the length!
Well we had an argument (everyone tells me she's in the wrong and I'm not to blame at all. I believe it's all my fault. *sigh*) And this time I don't think we will recover from it. Maybe this'll help me get over her? Knowing she treated me badly and she's not as perfect as I thought she was? I dunno
Literally.... for me. Happens alllll the time. And the only way I move on is when I fixate on someone else =/
This is happening to me right now haha I even wrote a post a few days ago talking about the same thing "In love with straight bff" haha But I completely understand you, and I know how hard and painful this is, but I think that we will eventually get over with it and be happy, just don't know when .. this seems to happen to all gays and lesbians out there, what na irony hun?! haha So, stay strong and try to be distracted with other things! Yes to love!!
I am honestly lost for words. I don't know what you should do. But you are the only one on here that knows her, so it is entirely up to you what you do! Good luck!
I'm in the same situation... and i'm still stuck in the spiral...he's supportive and all of me being gay and even though he told me that he is a straight guy, moreover he still treat me as a best friend like b4.. but i don't know why the hell i can't get over him. meeting him everyday makes the situation worse, so i can understand what it feels like to stuck in love...still finding solution! ---------- Post added 4th May 2013 at 12:44 PM ---------- I'm in the same situation... and i'm still stuck in the spiral...he's supportive and all of me being gay and even though he told me that he is a straight guy, moreover he still treat me as a best friend like b4.. but i don't know why the hell i can't get over him. meeting him everyday makes the situation worse, so i can understand what it feels like to stuck in love...still finding solution! :help:
The only method I know that works is dealing with it and moving on. That's the only way I can move on as well. I've been falling for people in my school, some I don't even know their names. Yesterday, it seemed like I couldn't avoid my current crush despite the fact that I don't even have any classes with him. Whenever I'm outside of class, I turn around and there he is. Hell, I even saw him behind the bus riding shotgun with his friend when I looked out the window. It's like the world is laughing at me! :tears:
hi! i can relate to your situation very well. i think its normal for us to fantasize over the person we have a crush on.. but sometimes, when all the instances tell you, no, it could never happen, sometimes, we just have to accept it. yes, it may be hard but like what other posts here say, time and distance will do the trick.. try to live your life before you met the person. be a little distant, but not much.. be available when she needs you, and at the same time, be unavailable.. give yourselves space and time to do things on your own.. always remember that independence is more attractive than dependence.
Thanks everyone for the advice I honestly don't want to let go. She always jokes around saying, if things don't work around with her boyfriend she'll join my side and date me. I always think about the times she's said that (many times). She's always holding me hand, and hugging me for like a minute. I never want to let go. Even at the thought of her it turns me on. I love her so badly. I've loved her for over 6 months now, and even when we had a 2-3 month gap of not talking or seeing each other, it just made me fall for her more. I can't get over her, no matter what I try
