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friends

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by darkcheesse, May 3, 2013.

  1. darkcheesse

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    i have this problem, most of my friends have come under the presumption that my life is well pretty easy, and that i shouldn't be so negative.

    well lets see i'm an athetoid dyspraxic, mild cerebral palsy, i have this condtion where if i get my feet wet and don't dry them properly several layers of skin fall off and its agony to walk, and finally some condition that makes a circle on my chest half of it turns bright read the other dark purple that last time i checked less than 100 people in the world have made it past the age of 5 with that condition.

    too add to this i have adhd, two short on the criteria for asberges syndrome, depression and severe anxiety my. so yeh my life is just peachy. i could go on but i'd rather not, so how do i explain it to them without being like yh my life is complete mess i think about ending it every day that's why i'm so negative all the time.
     
  2. myheartincheck

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    Seem like good reasons to me!
     
  3. 143kc

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    Maybe tell them what you just told us, as it clearly seems you have good reasons to be pesimistic.
     
  4. darkcheesse

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    I'm not that type of person, unless I'm really close to you, i won't open up at all. I'd rather not explain it to them. We're friends in the sense we chill a lot, but were not very open about our problems to each other. I can't stand making myself vulnerable, it took me a very long while to open up to the 3 friends that i can. I'm just one of those people who speaks but truly says nothing. Or is there really no other way around the issue and I'll just have to pretend to be happier in their presence?
     
  5. myheartincheck

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    You should not pretend to be happier. It will make you feel worse in the long run. Sounds like they're just casual friends so I wouldn't read too much into what they say.
     
  6. Lexington

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    If people don't know the story, it's tough to blame them for not responding "correctly". Yeah, it'd be nice if they could recognize that not everybody is in the exact same position that they're in, but I've certainly had trouble getting my brain into that mindset. You know ' "I like/hate this, so why doesn't everybody like/hate this?" "I'm this way, so naturally, everybody is this way." You don't have to necessarily give them the full story, but you might see if you can at least tell them "Well, I've got a lot of crap on my plate, so sometimes I end up sounding really negative."

    Lex
     
  7. Thomas94

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    that's tough mate. I'm similar to you in that I very rarely tell people what's wrong in my life so everybody generally assumes I'm always happy, which is the way I seem. I'm the happy, funny guy in the group trying to make everyone else feel better. It's really hard when nobody knows how hard your life is but just think of what's good in your life and take joy in that. I know it's not great advice but unfortunately, bar from telling them what's actually wrong, there's not much else apart from adopting an optimistic attitude. which isn't too bad haha.
     
  8. darkcheesse

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    Thanks for all the advice, optimism err no thanks, before i was depressed i was a realist and I'm very cynical anyway, all ways have been. I used to be quite blunt, if you asked me i used to give you the truth rather than the answer you want to hear, but over the past few years my shyness and anxiety, have made it very hard for me to show that side of my personality. So in a sense i was trying to be more open honest, which with me is a long slow gradual process.

    I guess I'll just have to pretend to be happy around them i can't see another way around it, i have a really negative on the world anyways. probably because i keep myself quite well informed of the bad things that are going on in the world, from mans reckless use of resources, how we treat the environment, how we persecute each other, kill one another. and even when buying your local shopping, or clothes how you can be negatively impacting on lives people thousands of miles away. like when businesses give money to charity to aid some negative impact of their business, but they only give a fractional amount compared to the damage done. every where I look man kind is causing harm to itself, I wouldn't say I'm any better than others but i take some comfort in the fact I'm aware of a lot the harm/negative impact my life has had on other people. It seems you do much these days with out doing harm somewhere, I guess I just started rambling a bit sorry about that, so yeah what was my point again, oh I have negative outlook on life as well, so because they didn't like how negative I was being I doubt they'd like to hear more.

    Thanks for all the advice much appreciated, hope i can return the favor at some point.
     
  9. Thomas94

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    well the only other option l have is talking to a Really Close mate about whats wrong And, well for Me, it really helped because then I didn't think I had to deal with all the Crap going on in my life. But thats not for everyone so just do what you're comfortable with and if you need a rant I'm here to chat with. just send me a message.