So im a completely closeted gay and I havent fully accepted myself yet either but for a while now I've really wanted a relatiosnhip, and seeing as I'm pretty much gay I'm hoping to have one with a guy to really see if thats what I want. But as I said I havent come out to a single person and I am very straight acting so it's not obvious that im gay. I really want a relationship but don't know how to get one as I'm very shy and generally dont go out clubbing or to bars all that often. Im fairly certain there are no lgbt groups in my area so im not even sure how I can meet gays to begin with. Anyone have any advice??
My thoughts on the matter: - Here's an analogy: dating while closeted is like trying to sell a Fuji apple in the middle of a basket of Royal Gala apples without any stickers to tell you which is which. Unless you're a painfully obvious gay person, nobody is going to know you're "on the market" if you don't tell anyone. (those apples were the only thing I could think of that look similar enough to the undiscerning eye) - If you do manage to land a relationship, you won't be able to enjoy it because you'll be so busy hiding it from everyone else you're not out to (read: the world). - You don't need a relationship with a guy to know if that's what you want. If you're gay, you're gay, and rushing to have a relationship probably won't solidify that any more for you. - It's gonna be pretty hard to meet people if you don't want to put yourself out there. No online dating since you're closeted, no LGBT areas to frequent, and shy to begin with. tl;dr It's incredibly difficult to date someone if nobody knows (and you don't want anybody to know) that you're available. Coming out solves a lot of these problems. Are there any reasons you're hesitant to come out?
Thanks for the advice. I didn't think I would be able to date straight away but I was hoping somehow... I haven't come out to anyone I guess because I haven't fully accepted it myself and I don't know why... I've tried to tell 2 of my closer friends but everytime i try i just start talking about something else instead. I don't have a problem gay people, and I don't think I have a problem with being gay, yet I still can't bring myself to tell anyone... very frustrating.
