It's been a dumb couple of weeks, but I decided to give it another shot. It's still kind of unclear what the fuck we're doing relationshipwise. Sometimes I feel really angry when I think about him, but when I'm actually around him I'm pathetically overjoyed. He says he doesn't want to just start where we left off (obviously didn't work before) but he's already doing his overly optimistic song-and-dance of "we should get a dog/start a garden/go on a trip". Which I guess is positive because it ended on something more like "let's try an open relationship" last time, it's just as badly as I wanted to get back together before, now that it's happening I'm not feeling very confident about it working out. I don't want to get excited about puppies and gardens and roadtrips if none of that is going to happen. I don't want to get my hopes up then find out in another few weeks it was a mistake. Still I'm worried if I don't entertain those kinds of thoughts with him he's going to lose interest or something. I don't know. My friends think it's a terrible idea and don't want to talk to me about it, so I'm just really lonely or something. Hopefully I'll have a job soon, and things will be different. I need my life to go in a new direction because it's driving me crazy right now. Anyway, just an unimportant update.
Seems like your boyfriend is just riding the high of reconciliation. If you don't want the nonsense that happened in the past (if you want, fill us in), I would say that you should probably start talking to your boyfriend about your relationship. You may feel like you don't want to "rock the boat", but you and him need to be on the same page in order for the relationship to move forward. In order to do this, you both need to sit down and talk about what you want in this relationship.
