Hi guys, I'm new here. I hate to start on a depressive note, but hey, I finally found people who might listen. I had my first boyfriend last year (8th grade) whom I met in marching band. It was the best time of my life and I couldn't believe it was happening. We were always getting compliments and it was just perfect. One cold day in December, however, he decided we didn't see each other enough and that it was time to go our separate ways. During that time, I was being abused by my father and step-mother, and that was part of the reason we didn't see each other. I didn't have any contact with the outside world while i was at home and the only time I saw my friends was at school, and at marching band practice. Every thing sucked. At a time I was ready to :bang: until it was all over. So fast-forwarding to now, I've developed some sort of adjustment syndrome, and can't do without him. I manage to cut myself off, but I can't help it and I always go back. So I've tried talking to other guys. The problem is that when ever a guy starts to talk to me, or I talk to a guy, the ex always finds out and keeps me from going with the new guy. So that's question number one...WHAT DO I DO??? My other problem is that I currently feel incredibly lonely:icon_sad: I try talking to guys, but straight guys won't talk to me, and gay guys around me are too old. I don't know what to do. All my friends are slowly leaving me and I don't know why. Most of them are in relationships, and it just sucks. All of my friends are dating my crushes and it sucks. I need advice, or help, or comfort, or something..........:bang::bang:
High school really sucks. Ok, maybe not the comfort you're looking for. When you say that you try and talk to other guys, do you mean like to try and have a relationship to replace your ex? Maybe you need to give dating a break and try and work on yourself. I know that sounds kinda cheesy but you can't go through life letting other people determine your happiness. Until you get to a point where you are comfortable with being alone, maybe you should avoid dating. It is a little hard for me to understand because i'm the complete opposite of you. I enjoy time to myself. But hey, even a loner can get lonely. There is a happy medium, though, and that is something that you really need to find. As for your ex, maybe it is time to move on. The loneliness that you feel may be keeping you from removing him from your life. It doesn't have to be permanently, but at least long enough for you to move on. But the question was, how do you move on? Unfortunately, i'm not sure if i have any good advice on this one. I think maybe you're trying to replace what you had with him with someone else and you find yourself falling short. If that is true, then you have to quit comparing and allow yourself to start over. Just remember that there are a lot of us out there that feel just as lost or lonely as you do. Just gotta keep moving forward and not allow yourself to feel lonely when you're alone. There is a great community here. Probably didn't help at all. But i tried my best.
You may not be answering my questions, but the time that you took to answer is comfort enough. You cared enough to reply to my issue, and that helps....if that makes any sense.
Dear - I understand why you're in the situation you're in. You latched on to him, and he left you. So sorry that happened. <3 But! Don't be influenced by this guy if he's being a dick. If he broke it off, he broke it off. Don't let that prevent you from dating other folks. What I recommend is that you not date anybody, just for now. Dating is a surefire way to kill a strong relationship you have with someone, especially in high school when we're so easily frazzled. Find some guy/girl (a girl may be better) that you can be close with. Have them as your friend, and let them give you support. You need someone to support you in rough times. I prefer to talk to my teachers/counselors for advice - they give WONDERFUL advice, especially counselors. They have been your age, they see it regularly, they know how to deal with it. If you want to chat about shizz, just pm me. I'll always talk to you <3
This kind of concerns me. You're no longer together, but he's trying to interfere with you having another relationship? If so, that's pretty unhealthy.
honestly, he's just playing with your head. he doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you....i hate that selfish shit that people play. i know it's hard but you're going to be miserable until you just completely cut him out of your life. i hate to play the "older and wiser" card, i hated when people did it to me when i was younger. but being in 8th/9th grade, you have SOOOOOOOOOOO many more things to experience...don't let silly stuff like this bring you down!
First, welcome to EC! Yes, you are right: you will find people willing to listen. This is an incredibly supportive forum. Secondly, I'm sorry you've been through such a painful time. I know this isn't much comfort, but you aren't alone. School was a living hell for me much of the time when I was your age. Things should get better as you get older. Even a year might make a difference. ---------- Post added 7th May 2013 at 12:22 PM ---------- I have to agree with with Ettina. Next time this happens you might point out that the relationship is over. And he broke it off. ---------- Post added 7th May 2013 at 12:42 PM ---------- I hope the abuse is over. If it isn't, it needs to be stopped ASAP. Straight guys might be afraid that you'll want them for sex, or be afraid that hanging around a gay guy will brand them gay. I don't think all straight guys are like that. Keep talking to new people. It's hard, but that's how you meet them. Also be open to the possibilities beyond the obvious. For example, I had issues with being friends with girls. It was because of the environment of my high school, I think, which made it seem like guys would be friends with other guys. One girl did become my friend, however (and it was entirely because of what she did--she was aggressive). Funny thing: she's the one high school friend I still have regular contact with.
