Hello. I have no idea if I'm gay or bi or just a very confused straight person, life is complicated. So there's this girl whom I had previously only said Hi to once, and she started up a short conversation with me and I got so flustered. Like, I couldn't speak right. I don't know why I was so nervous. I've never even gotten that way with a guy and here's this girl (she's bi I believe) who made me embarrassingly nervous. Why? I want to get to know her more at least to sort out my curiosity on wether I'm gay/bi or not but I don't want my friends (mostly guys because I get awkward around other girls) to think that I'm gay if it turns out I'm not. It's high school and rumors spread quickly. What should I do?
Well if she is single and willing, maybe you can flirt with her and see how it makes you feel. Just make eye contact longer than usual and twirl your hair or say something that sounds dirty even though you "didn't mean it to." Maybe this will help you identify if you're a lady lover like me! :icon_bigg **On a side note a lot of high schoolers experiment. Most sexuality is not as black and white as we are led to believe. This "experimenting phase" is described by Erik Erikson as Stage 5 of development. You can look up more on this on google if you wish but this is a basic synopsis.
What's your rush? You have PLENTY of time. Take it nice and slow. Watch some porn and see what you like. Talk with us here and see what makes sense to you. Take it slow.
Exactly with what TJay said. Take it slowly and get help/advice. Plus,you don't want to find out she's not what you originally though she was (if she isn't), correct??
I think that I've always pushed the idea that I could be gay out of my mind for as long as I can remember and now I've come to the realization that I don't feel "right" to myself. I think it scares me given the society we live in to even have anyone know I don't know if I'm completely straight or not. I don't fully understand why I feel this way since it's my life, you know?
I was just like you a few months ago-- I ended up realizing I was gay while laying down on a lesbian friend (just as friends-nothing sexual) and being so nervous but happy. I couldn't get her out of my head.... And then I remembered how she told me that she knew she was gay... And I was experiencing the same exact emotions. Looking back, I can see all the signs of being gay that I blocked out and now understand. Don't rush anything. I suggest writing down the reasons why you think you are gay or make a list of how you feel about guys versus women. That's what I did to reassure myself. Also, I would confront this girl once you know FOR SURE that she is bi.... If she's not, it could be quite the catastrophe.
That's good advice. I appreciate it a lot I really do. I think if I let things go their course things will turn out how they're supposed to.
