Hey guys, I really need some help. I've been dating a guy for almost three months now..and I'm bored already. It's always the same thing with him. He always says the same things when he gets home from school, he never tries to start a conversation and he always just sends me a bunch of faces. When I try to start a conversation, he just replies and then a face. Nothing else. We see each other almost every Wednesday, and every weekend..and we never do anything new. There's nothing to do around here, and we aren't allowed to be alone anyway because my mom doesn't want me alone with him. We've kissed, and my mom doesn't know, but I'm starting to not like kissing him because I HATE his facial hair! It's growing more and he won't shave it because he doesn't want it coming back darker. I just don't know what to do. How am I supposed to tell him that I don't like kissing him because of it? How am I supposed to tell him that I'm getting bored? What if he secretly is too and just didn't want to tell me? Help, please!
Re his facial hair - unless he's planning on looking like Grizzly Adams, he's going to have to cut it back in some fashion eventually. Depending on how grown out it is now (when it is bothering you), you might talk to him about getting a facial hair trimmer that can cut it back to a length you can live with or even find attractive. You can find trimmers at various places and various prices. As far as telling him, just be honest, but also be kind and supportive. I wouldn't just say you're getting where you don't like kissing him, instead say it scratches you or the like and maybe go right into the idea of the trimmer. That way you are offering a solution and not just an ultimatum. As far as the boredom issue - it honestly sounds like your biggest challenge is that there's nothing to do in your area and you have constraints on your situation. That said, it's not clear how this situation is tied to him directly or would be any different with someone else. Also, is it a matter of there really being nothing to do or just that you both need to put some effort and creativity into finding things to do? If you could do anything, what would you be doing? Assuming you can't do that, what options have you explored or looked into? Finally, it sounds like you are texting him for your conversations. Instead of doing that, why not talk to him when you see each other? Hope this helps, Todd
Don't hate the facial hair D: He just needs to trim it, not shave it. And mine doesn't grow back darker. As for boredom.. sadly, it happens. Maybe you guys just aren't clicking. Or go out and do something exciting? Switch it up a bit? And if that doesn't work.. I'd say move on. It doesn't seem like you're having too much fun in that relationship anyway.
I would say if after only 3 months, you are bored with him. Something is wrong. Even if there is nothing to do in your area, you should still not be bored with him all the time. That is my honest opinion. If this is all true, I would say tell him how you are feeling and say you guys just are clicking (if that is the case). That is my advice, even he doesn't like it, tough shit. He is a big boy. He will get over it.
" As far as the boredom issue - it honestly sounds like your biggest challenge is that there's nothing to do in your area and you have constraints on your situation. That said, it's not clear how this situation is tied to him directly or would be any different with someone else. Also, is it a matter of there really being nothing to do or just that you both need to put some effort and creativity into finding things to do? If you could do anything, what would you be doing? Assuming you can't do that, what options have you explored or looked into? Finally, it sounds like you are texting him for your conversations. Instead of doing that, why not talk to him when you see each other?" Well, for one, I'm way nervous around him. I can't eat around him, I barely talk to him in person because I'm so shy around him and I can't talk on the phone with him. I really don't find facial hair attractive at all so I'd rather it be gone, but I'm not going to tell him that. He seems so happy in this relationship and I really don't want to upset him but I'm not sure if I can keep this going. As for being creative, I'm one of the most creative and imaginative people you could meet around here. I've tried, there's literally nothing to do. Him, me, and a couple of our friends (along with my sister) always meet up at the library on Wednesdays and well, all we do is walk and talk. NOTHING to do. Can't do anything else anyway, because my mom doesn't want us walking too far from the library. So, seriously, nothing to do. I've told him I was bored with things and you know what he did to fix it? He tried to pull me away from my sister and my friend and just pushed me up against a tree and kissed me. BUT IN FRONT of my sister and my friend. I mean, really? He wouldn't let me sit down either unless it was on his lap. He knew I was feeling depressed too (have been for a week now) and he just kept trying to drag me to talk alone. I didn't want to though, I really didn't even want to be around him. I'm just so BORED. Nothing exciting ever happens and he talks to me every day through texting so we don't ever have a good, long conversation anyway.
Huh sounds like my situation ,except my bf broke up and it was long distance ,he kept talking to me everyday until 6.i enjoyed the convo but sometimes it got too much .and I was bored and it was long distance , and I wasn't attracted to him but emotionally attached . But grl u need to dump this boy . Me and my ex still talk it's werid bc we 're exes and we have chemistry still.
Why are you so nervous around him? You've been dating him for 'several months' yet you can't speak with him? Do you find it difficult to speak with people in general or just with him? Perhaps this is something you need to work on, both on general principles, and as something to do? Could you...play a board game? Play cards? Go on a picnic? Throw a frisbee? Rent a movie and watch it with popcorn? Note that all of these things can be done either with just the two of you or in a group and also lend themselves to lots of variations or additional stuff (food, music, hosting friends, making the picnic a potluck where you each bring different things, etc.) and virtually all of them can be done at or near your house or your friends houses so walking far shouldn't be an issue. Sorry, I'm not sure why kissing you (if he's your boyfriend) is a problem, regardless of who he does it in front of. I'm assuming here he wasn't trying to kiss you really passionately or anything inappropriate or the like. If you've been feeling depressed for a week or more, that could also be contributing to the situation. As I understand it, depression can make you not enjoy doing anything, no matter what it is. If you are experiencing extended bouts of depression, you should consider talking to someone, whether a counselor at school, or your church, or something of the sort. It's not clear to me how breaking up with him will make you any less bored, although I suppose it might provide a day or so of drama or emotional stress. However, see above re boredom and depression. I'm wondering if there is more going on with you than just being bored. If you really don't have feelings for him anymore, then it may be best to break up with him so you can both move on with your lives. But so far the reasons you've provided for ending your relationship seem to have more to do with issues you are having that are separate from him than directly tied to him. I would suggest that you look into what those issues are and how they might be addressed whether you stay with him or not. Otherwise, I suspect that you will simply find yourself back at the same place in short order, but now either without this guy in your life or with someone new who you will now find yourself bored with. My 2c worth, Todd
