Hey wonderful people. I'm just in that stage of life where you look back to think of a decision ahead. And i simply can't make up my mind. I know it may be a little long, but please read and bear with me. I live in an Indian, closed minded family in Oman. I have two sisters, both elder and working. My mother is a drunk (know i shouldn't say that, but still) and my father is a womaniser (again). I was five years when my mother came to know about dad, and their relationship is kind of off the hook since then. There hasn't been a day past that i have spent in peace. And for some reason, my mother hates me as well, and keeps filling my mind with these incredibly lasting lies, that i cant stop thinking of, even today. It was fifth grade when it really took a turn for the worst. Mom began to drink the entire day, and would beat me up for the smallest reasons. I began to lie to be safe, and sometimes even that didnt work. One day, when my teacher sent a note to my father asking them if anything was wrong at home, i signed it myself, a perfect copy of his signature, to escape trouble..... yet it undoubtedly found me again. Later, when we shifted houses around grade 7, my elder sister came over for a visit (both my sisters dont live with us) and when i complained about mom, she said that she was worse with them. She tried to burn my elder sister, and they both (sisters) tried to run away from home. When dad came to know about her tattle-tale-ing, he slapped her and threw her out of the house. Later, my mom and dad had the hugest row then far, and i told him about mom robbing him and stuff; since she hated me anyway, i had nothing to loose. That was in 8 grade. It was around this time that i started robbing money, to buy books and stuff. Even hence, when we shifted to another home (10 grade) mom started throwing me out of the house for every minor reason.......... it was around here that i truly lost myself. A hotel is not far from my home, and i used to go there for shelter. A man offered me money in exchange for a night, and i hesitantly accepted. Since then, I have only worsened, and now everybody hates me. I have selfish friends and no partners,,, only temporary one night ones. It was only the day before yesterday i tried to kill myself. I really cant bear this crap anymore...... Give me help...... Please.
OkI am only 13 but I can help first I'm going to ask a mod if I can contact you in a more convenient way and more private.... just hold in there
Well you have a few options here. You can contact your state's Child Protective Services (CPS), the police, or talk to your school counselor (who is required by law to report it to CPS). If you contact CPS you may be removed from your house, put into a shelter, then transferred to foster care. Depending on your state, you may have a greater than 50% chance of being: raped, abused, neglected, and otherwise mistreated should you end up in the "wrong" foster parents home. I went through the system myself and have done quite a bit of work/publications on this subject. If you're in California, regardless of how horrid your parents are right now, you're still better off living with them and should seek counseling to find some work arounds. The school systems in CA now run foster care... Killing yourself is never the answer. You just have to find places to escape to. If you have a rich friend talk to their parents (and tell them what's going on) and see if you can stay with them for a while. Reaching out to people you trust can be very helpful. If you have any other family members (even if they're in another state) that you trust, you need to call them and see if you can leave your home and live with them. The best thing to do right now is to keep your head down and your mouth shut. Abusive parents will always come to you, they will always find you regardless of where you are in your house, but if you don't let them get a rise off of you then they'll get bored eventually. Okay, and the last option, if you're of age to get a job or if you have one already you need to see if you're able to emancipate yourself from your parents. Granted, you will need to make enough money to rent your own place and prove that you'll be able to continue going to school, but this is an option you should definitely explore it too. Just DO NOT kill yourself. It doesn't solve a damn thing and your parents will probably be thrilled you did it and no one will be sad at all and no one will remember you. The best revenge is to get out of that hell hole and do well for yourself and send them a picture of yourself holding a Ph.D. holding your middle finger up high! This is YOUR LIFE, don't let them own you, don't let them make you feel like that, and don't let them get enjoyment out of your misery.
Saraph, he's in Oman. I have gone trough suicidal times, but have pulled through because I realise that it can't acheive anything. The world cannot be a better place without each individual because it then lacks YOU and you lack IT too.
My mind went to Omen, TX when I saw that... -_-;; Yeah being in Oman you're best off running away to Dubai and getting a job. Get the hell out of there. Children don't mean a damn thing in your society or culture or country. You're nothing but objects. You can always appeal to the courts by way of the following law (which in our legal terms is so vague you'll probably be sentenced to stoning or mutilation by your law for going against your parents, because by your law you're still a slave to your parents if you haven't hit puberty or if your father doesn't recognize you, GG): اتفاقية حقوق الطفل[10] المادة 12 1. تكفل الدول الأطراف في هذه الاتفاقية للطفل القادر على تكوين آرائه الخاصة حق التعبير عن تلك الآراء بحرية في جميع المسائل التي تمس الطفل، وتولى آراء الطفل الاعتبار الواجب وفقا لسن الطفل ونضجه. 2. ولهذا الغرض، تتاح للطفل، بوجه خاص، فرصة الاستماع إليه في أي إجراءات قضائية وإدارية تمس الطفل، إما مباشرة، أو من خلال ممثل أو هيئة ملائمة، بطريقة تتفق مع القواعد الإجرائية للقانون الوطني. I doubt they'll give a damn though. Just look at England. Shari'a law is working out really well for their women and children. Soooooooo about running away to Dubai...
Would it be possible for you to go to live with one of your sisters? It sounds like the first thing you need is a safe and stable environment and they seem to be the closest thing to that based on what you've written so far. Please hang in there and please don't hurt yourself. (*hug*) Todd
Thanks guys, for reading and offering your advice. You guys are really great! IceKing, I am on Facebook, so you can reach me there if you have help to offer, or even if not. Saraph, there is no CPS here. The rich control the police despite popular account. I know this through customers. I also don't get much from weekend liaisons to grant myself a separate room, or i would be long gone. how, thanks. I feel that now there is atleast some use of me in this world....... i promise i won't try that route again.... AKTodd, my sisters are homophobic. It would be no different than going to the police and getting stoned to death. The big thing is, that crime is looking to be a great option now........ going into jail would seem a good route to avoid all this chaos. My mind slowly numbs,,,, and ....... I'm just stuck.
Think seriously about Saraph's idea of running away - depending on how old you are, of course. Don't get into crime. I know it may look an easy way of escaping the hostile society around you, but once you start crime, you might never stop & it will only make finding a job etc. more difficult. You could always try going to the UAE Embassy in Muscat, seeking refuge there before migrating. HOWEVER homosexual activity there is illegal & could result in death penalty. You don't want that. But it's the best place nearby for a job (even if local people generally do end up in worse jobs). So if you do decide to migrate, after you've built up some capital you may want to make the move to somewhere less hostile, e.g. UK or USA - you have more than enough grasp of English for a job here. Hope this helps Oscar x
You really really don't want to go to jail. Understood that your sisters are homophobic. But from what you've written, a lot of your stress is coming from the situation with your mother and father. What I'm suggesting is that you try to get away from that but don't tell your sisters that you are gay. If you could stay with them until you finish school and become a legal adult, you could see about getting out of the middle east and to a place that is more accepting of gay people. Possibly Europe, or the US, or Canada. You said you are in or around 'grade 10'. In the US, that would make you around 15 or 16 years old and with about 2 more years of school. Is that where things are at for you? If so, you might need to hide your sexuality for a couple more years, but could then work to go somewhere you can be yourself. But the first step would be getting out of the home and family situation you are currently in. One other option might be to see if there are any countries that have embassies there that could grant you asylum. The European Union nations in particular might be an option as they seem to do this more than others. I found this page after a quick online search: The Netherlands / Asylum Country-by-Country / Asylum in Europe / Issues we work on / Home / ilga - ILGA Europe It isn't 100% positive, but mentions several countries that might be options. You could also do some additional online research to see what other options might be available. Here's another page btw: Seeking Asylum | Immigration EqualityImmigration Equality although the US is rather farther away, of course. The thing to keep in mind with running away is that it does you little good to run from one homophobic country to another one. You need to work things out so that you can get somewhere where you can be safe and take care of yourself and be yourself. That may take some time and some intermediate steps, but it can be done. Hope this helps, Todd
