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First Time Relationship and freaking out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by DDT, May 10, 2013.

  1. DDT

    DDT
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    Hey EC,

    So here is the deal. I have recently started dating for the first time. This guy is amazing and wonderful and intelligent. He has told me that he thinks the same of me but idk if I feel like how he see's me. I tend to be on the top of the insecure line and I am truly freaking myself out. I really don't feel like I am enough for him. We get along amazingly but I have never been able to make him laugh like his friends effortlessly do. I have talked to all my friends and they say I am more then enough for him but why can't I feel that way? I know this relationship is gonna end bad if I can't get over this selfish need to worry about how I am acting and if he is truly enjoying being around me. I just really need a reality check and I need to relax but I really need some advice before I cause this amazing thing that has come into my life to burn and die.
     
  2. Phoenix

    Phoenix Guest

    I feel like what you're describing is how anyone acts in the beginning of a relationship gay or straight. Everyone feels the need to watch every step they take because they don't want to give out the wrong first impression. It took my sister 8 months before she could safely go see her boyfriend without feeling the need to put on makeup and dress nicely. If he's said he likes you then he likes you not who you feel you should be or how you feel you have to act.
     
  3. DDT

    DDT
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    Yea :slight_smile: I just really want to be a good boyfriend to him but I'm limiting myself doing all of this
     
  4. June Cleaver

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    Take a deep breath, and now breath! You are going to screw up! It's ok! We all do at times, you just work through it as a couple and a stronger bond will result. Keep in mind the first few relationships are experements. It is nice to think you are with "the one" and it is possable he is. The most important thing to do is be the natrual you, no sugar coating! Because you want him to love you, not some fake show person you project and vanishes over time with his love with him. So just act normal around him not tring to impress him and all will be fine. Yes he picked you so you are all the man he needs to be happy.

    Also DO NOT CLING!!!
    DO NOT PUSH!!!
    DO NOT ASSUME
    DO GIVE HIM TRUST

    Those are pitfalls you will need to avoid if you have security problems and feel not good enoough. You can ruin a relationship fast if you do those things. Cling, that one I am sure you understand. Push, like pushing yourself on him insisting he spend more time with you than he is offering. Assume, Don't work yourself up thinking he might be cheating, or doing things behind your back, give him some trust up front and let him break it.

    If he is the dominant, (top) then let him set the pace of the relationship. How often you go out, have sex, touch, spoon, kiss, etc. If you play that role then you set the pace being aware of respecting his space. Too much too fast is bad. control yourself with phone calls and text. I hope this is of some use, June
     
  5. clarkec1

    clarkec1 Guest

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    If this relationship has only just started, then you shouldn't look into things too much. He is probably just as nervous as you are, and wants to take things slowly, he might also just be nervous around you because you are both of the same gender, and when you go out with someone for the first time, it can be quite scary and nerveracking.

    You might need to trust him more, and not presume that he doesn't love you. Spend time with him, and don't look to deep, relax, and enjoy it. You'll see, when your relationship progresses, you will understand that he is just as nervous as you are, and is still trying to get to know you, and get used to a same-sex relationship.

    Enjoy it, relax, and it will change!
     
  6. DDT

    DDT
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    You guys are all right I just want to make sure I'm doing the right things. The right things are just being myself flaws and all. He is into to me I know he is I just got to believe it more. It's just all so new. I am working on it. I just got another thing to work on. I will show him the real me and in the end he is really helping me in that. I have been so closed because of the whole gay thing. I am completely out I'm just still dealing with bottled up things.