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Advice on dating (more importantly finding one) while in the closet?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MtnFr3sh, May 10, 2013.

  1. MtnFr3sh

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    Can I get some advice on dating, and more importantly finding a date, while I'm in the closet?
    My long distance boyfriend of a bit less than a year I believe broke up with me this past Monday, he had very good reasons, involving depression of isolation and both his family and doctor told him it would be good to seek a relationship a bit closer. I understood, and, well, I think I've already gotten through all of the stages of dealing with a breakup (And in 5 days! surprising, I know)
    God, I hope he doesn't see this, but to be completely honest, I kind of knew this was coming and would happen eventually, I just didn't want to say anything, maybe that's why I was able to get through those stages quicker than if I hadn't known it was coming.

    Anyway, I feel kinda alone, like I did before I got into a relationship with him. And I would like to know just what I could do to date, and more importantly find a date while I'm in the closet to everyone I know, and I am well aware that this is next to impossible, but it's not like it hasn't happened before.

    I am aware that some of you will tell me that it's too soon to start again, and I'm not going to entirely disagree with you. But I would still like an idea on how to date while closeted and I can refer to this thread for reference later on.

    Everybody here is so awesome, and any advice is loved dearly :slight_smile:
     
  2. BudderMC

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    I'm not going to tell you you shouldn't date, nor am I going to tell you it's incredibly hard to date while closeted, because you seem to know both of those things.

    The question I will ask is this: if you're feeling lonely, what makes you think you need to fill that void with a romantic relationship?
     
  3. MtnFr3sh

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    Well, I say I need a romantic relationship because, well, I don't really know why. I do know that I'm not happy with just hanging out with my friends isn't enough. I'm not saying that I NEED a romantic relationship. But, it's something that I really want.
     
  4. TJ

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    This ^

    I feel you - I'm 17, I know dem struggles, dat longing for a man, dat feeling of loneliness.
    But don't let it get to you!

    You are 15! PLENTY YOUNG, and you shouldn't have to worry about dating.
    Fill that emptiness with friendships and service to your community.

    I feel needed by serving my community, and while I'd LOVE to have a man to curl up next to at night, there's no rush.
    Take your time.

    Besides, most people our age are psychotic and break it off within a few weeks - don't put yourself through the trouble.
     
  5. Viridian

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    Have you tried exploring who you are as an individual? You've mentioned that you felt alone before you got together with your ex. Why do you think that is? Explore your feelings. It might be related to your closeted status.

    It seems to me that relationships could probably be in the back burner while you work on self-growth:thumbsup:
     
  6. BryanM

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    Sorry about what happened with you and your boyfriend. And I'm not going to say you shouldn't date, because I think 15 is old enough to date under proper circumstances. I will say though that you could also look for friends to surround yourself with that way it might help with some of the loneliness. As for dating while in the closet, I'm not really sure how much help I can be there, since I've never experienced or heard of someone doing it. But I digress, dating isn't a number one priority, although at times it can get pretty lonely, I can relate with you there. Sorry if this didn't help much, just my thoughts. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Elena

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    When I was in the closet I mostly met girls online. Not really so much dating sites (as I was underage and these sites require you to be 18+) but forums etc. Sometimes I would get it on with the girl I met online or she would introduce me some of her gay friends. Another thing might be your local LGBT center if you have one.