Hey, what's up guys?:smilewave When I first joined EC about a week ago, I posted about this guy I liked in my class. I was worried that I wouldn't see him again, as I was planning to leave for College while he was planning on staying at school. I was going to tell him how I felt about him, hoping he would feel the same, and we wouldn't lose contact. Well, I haven't spoken to him about that yet. I still haven't even come out to him. I have told my best friend, but he and his girlfriend are still the only people who know. But, just today he decided he is going to apply to the College I'm going to, meaning we won't be split up. But, the problem is I still want to tell him how I feel about him. Of course, the problem is, if he doesn't feel the same way, that would mean an awkward couple of years together. So I'm not quite sure what to do. I want to tell him how I feel just in case he feels the same way. Right now, I think I'm going to at least come out to him. i feel like I owe him that. There's nothing that really make me think he's gay, but he has never had a girlfriend and he never really expresses interest in girls, but that could just be the way he is, so I'm not sure.:eusa_doh: So, right now I'm struggling to decide whether I should just come out to him, tell him how I feel and risk rejection, or just do neither and keep quite (which is starting to become difficult, and I'm starting to feel like I owe it to my friends to tell them). Is there anyone who could give me any advice, however brief or vague? I'd be really appreciative
Honestly, I've never been in this kind of situation. If it was me, then I'd come out first. I wouldn't jump the gun completely tell someone how I feel about them out of the blue. Also, by coming out first you get a chance to see his reaction. Obviously, if he reacts badly, then I'd drop it and try to completely forget about him as a relationship is unlikely. If this is the case don't feel too hurt for too long. Try to move on as best as you can. On the other hand, you're coming out may also prompt him to come out as well, on the off chance he is also gay. I mean, just because he hasn't had a girlfriend doesn't mean he is gay at all. Honestly, I think self preservation is important, so, I'd be careful and just try to scope things out before putting myself in a vulnerable position. Hope I helped.
Hi again! I think that I answered in your previous related thread, but I'm more than happy to answer again. If he stays in school, maybe come out to him, then slowly give him signs, and then perhaps tell him. If he goes to college, you have a lot more time, which is good. Repeat the process that I have suggested if he stays in school, but take it even slower, you will have more time to think and plan.
DelFelidae, thanks for the advice, it really helped! And thanks again, clarkec1! Yes, I did talk about this in a previous post. The only difference now is that he is now sure he is going to college with me, as before he wasn't sure whether to go to sixth form or college, so we won't be split up, which is good! From both of your advice, it sounds like it would be best if I spoke to him. He's pretty much my best friend, so i can't imagine him disliking me if I came out to him. Then, depending on his reaction, i'll decide whether or not I want to say anymore, and admit that I do infact have feelings for him. Thanks both of you for your advice!
Thanks again for the advice guys, but it seems my friend has gone back to being unsure whether or not he wants to go to College. Haha, obviously he's very indecisive. I'm still not sure whether he is straight or not, but I think i'm just going to come out to him, and see what kind of a reaction I get. It might even encourage him to come out himself if he is gay. Either way, I'm just going to be honest with him, and if it makes him uncomfortable, at least it will stop me from barking up the wrong tree.
