I am having trouble getting dates with guys. My situation is bit peculiar. I am south Asian guy living in us for last 8 years. I work in IT on a work visa. Not out as I don't want uncomfortable situation at work. My stay here is tied to my job. I am always attracted older nice masculine guy. Since I am not out I have tough time getting quality dates. Mostly men I met I have met are via hookups sites. I am looking for steady relationship with another nice guy who understands my situation. I believe I bring lots of nice stuff to table. I am in early 30s in a stable job intelligent relatively good looking friendly guy. I am tired of just meeting men looking for hookups. In last couple of years I have had sex in total 3-4 times with couple of guys.I can't come out so how do I meet a nice guy who understands my situation n does not want me just for sex. Are the last couple of years indicator of my future sex life. I am feeling very sad n helpless. Guys advice me how to handle this situation.
Well, I have two immediate thoughts: 1) If you don't want hookups, don't look for hookups. Yeah, you might technically be looking for dates, but if you're looking for them on a hookup site, you're probably not going to find one. It's like trying to find someone who loves heavy metal at an opera house - they probably exist, but that's not what the venue is for, so why waste your time looking there? 2) You can be out without being out at work, that's what I do. I'm personally a proponent for keeping your personal life separate from your work life anyways, but that's just my opinion. Have you considered being out in other parts of your life?
Thanks for your reply first of all. I read both your points n they make lots of sense. Ist as you said you are not out at work n you are able to separate it from your personal life. Well good for you. But I don't expect you to completely understand my situation. In your case it might be you don't tell people at work that you are gay but if they find out someway well u can either move on to next job or stay in your one n don't care.. in my case I can't afford..I don't have the option of moving on.I get to stay here as long as work for my employer. Plus my community at work here is pretty rough toward gay people. I dont want to face discrimination here . I just want to live a simple peaceful life n I want to somehow include my sexuality n try to have a normal relationship with a man.
