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Should I leave him alone or go for it?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Laurenngoesrawr, May 13, 2013.

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  1. Laurenngoesrawr

    Laurenngoesrawr
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    Sorry for bothering you all again. Here's the thing. Almost five years ago, I met the most amazing guy I think I'll ever meet. His name is Dominic. Now, he doesn't talk to me. Last year, we started dating after four years of being best friends. Couple weeks after he asked me out, he used his cousin as a fake girlfriend to break up with me and TO THIS DAY, I have no idea what I did wrong. I miss him so much, and I don't know what to do. I want to talk to him, I want him back in my life. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. PLEASE, what should I do?

    What if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? What if he just ignores me? All I know is I REALLY want him back in my life. I've never cared about someone this much before. EVER. I'm still in love with him and I don't know what to do. I have a feeling this is why I'm feeling bored and depressed in my current relationship. It was like that last time too.

    THANK YOU to anyone who can help!
     
    #1 Laurenngoesrawr, May 13, 2013
  2. Mysz

    Mysz
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    Does he know that you're bisexual? Perhaps he's feeling insecure about dating someone who is; I've met quite a few people who would be, thinking that they would lose someone they love to twice as many people. It's misguided and unfounded, but some people do believe that.
    If he knows and accepts you for it already, then find a way to talk to him. Be non-confrontational about it, but talk to him in person, as it's much easier to give half truths over the internet or text. Tell him that you miss him; it won't hurt to play up any guilt. Be prepared for both ends of a deep talk might get though- understanding, or defensiveness.
    Go for it. The lack of answers will just be a gnawing, never-resolved worry.
     
    #2 Mysz, May 13, 2013
    Last edited: May 13, 2013
  3. Laurenngoesrawr

    Laurenngoesrawr
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    We haven't met in person yet and he does know I am. He lives a few states away but he was going to come to my state in a few more years. I have to wonder if he's still planning that. I might be able to call him and tell him but, I'm not sure sense I have a hard time getting in touch with him now. Thank you for your answer though, I'll do my best to follow it.
     
    #3 Laurenngoesrawr, May 13, 2013
  4. BudderMC

    BudderMC
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    Well, the thing is, regardless the given reason he probably had what he believed was a good actual reason for breaking up with you. Doesn't make it right or wrong, but it is what it is. It's also worth noting that just because you broke up doesn't mean YOU did something wrong, it just means things didn't work out - it happens.

    I think having someone in your life is fine, but I also think you need to be clear about the boundary between friend and more-than-friend. If you want the latter but he doesn't, that's when things get messy.

    And if you want to go for a friendship, start it up the same way you would any other. Engage him in conversation, keep in touch, show a genuine interest in him. If he doesn't reciprocate, then maybe he's just not interested in you in that way. Kinda sucks, but there's not much anyone can do to manipulate anyone else's feelings.
     
    #4 BudderMC, May 13, 2013
  5. Laurenngoesrawr

    Laurenngoesrawr
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    Well, like I said we haven't talked in a year. I was planning on just writing a letter about my feelings, but I don't know if I should mail it to him/message him or just leave it alone. I really want him back in my life. His Facebook says he's in a relationship right now anyway, and so am I, so even if I wanted THAT back, I couldn't have it.

    He never told me a reason for breaking up with me and I really want to know what it is. I wish he would have told me. So, we haven't talked in almost a year, should I try talking to him?
     
    #5 Laurenngoesrawr, May 14, 2013
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