1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

confused

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by swilson, May 13, 2013.

  1. swilson

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Austin,Tx
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    hello everyone I neef advice desperatly,Im 27 and my gf is 42, we've been together for 4 yrs now but she lies so much about unimportant things..I asked her a whk ago if she stayed in conntact with any of her ex's and she said no when she's through she's through..so one da I decided to go through her old phone (something I've never done before) and I saw alot of emails from her ex about how she missed her,and when I confronted her about it she stuck with her lie. I contacted the ex and found out they've always been in contact and it's nothing physical... When I confronted her again over the phone very calmly she was nonchalant and uncaring stating that if she wanted to be with her she wouldve left me a long time ago...the love that I have for her is why I haven't left but I'm confused as hell,she's not understanding why I'm hurt..could someone xplain to me the mind frame of older when?? Cause I feel like I'm raising mine.
     
  2. pinklov3ly

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,445
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Musty Mitten
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've dated someone who's lied to me about unimportant things, as well. She also omitted the truth a lot and she didn't think it was a big deal. I'll have to say that in your situation, you're not the only one she had lied to. Lying usually forms out of a habit of being unable to be honest with yourself. Sometimes, lying helps us escapes reality for a bit. However, a lot of liars have become more comfortable with it because they don't want to face the consequences of being truthful.

    It's pretty common for people to remain friends with their ex, however, it can cause problems. If you feel like you cannot trust her, then please leave her. From what she's told you, I think she's being honest, but very harsh about it. She got caught, but it is never a good idea to go snooping, that's when you find stuff you dislike. Just tell her that you'd appreciate it if she does not keep things from you. However, lying is a dealbreaker for me. I give any woman I'm dating three chances to lie to me. Like, the girl I'm dating now has lied to me, which gives me reason not to trust her. It is exactly why we're not official because I cannot trust what she tells me. I told her if she wants me in her life then the lying has to stop. And so far, everything's been great.
     
    #2 pinklov3ly, May 13, 2013
    Last edited: May 13, 2013