I've been talking to this guy for about for a week or so and we clicked instantly. I love his personality and it's like a perfect match but after seeing him, I'm like 'hmm... I don't know'. And honestly, I know people are going to drop the judgemental bomb and tell me to stop being so judgemental but everyone ultimateley has different ideas about someones appearance when you first see someone. He's not ugly but does he give me butterflies or a strong physical attraction? Maybe not but I'm just really confused and looking for advice!
What's weird is that I'm only somewhat attracted to someone at first (based on appearance). Like stepping your toe into the water to see if it's warm or cold. Their personality seals the deal. I don't know if they might be a douchebag, cheater, etc. etc. or just plain boring. So personality is a definite and important component for attraction, in my opinion.
It's all a matter of personal opinion. Some people consider appearance to be everything, and the person that you go out with is not the most visually attractive person in the world, then there is no point bring with them. Others value appearance as nothing, and personality to be everything. Others are in between. I am personally in between, ever so slightly leaning towards personality being most important. But it really is based on what you believe, you or no body else can change what you value more essential for a happy and fulfilling relationship.
There's nothing wrong with appearance being a factor - and everyone will have different traits that they consider attractive. There really is no universal standard. But - it shouldn't be the only factor. If you clicked right away, and you love his personality, stick with it for a little while. I've had two long-term relationships in my life, and I didn't think either guy was especially attractive when I first met them. But after I'd been with each of them for a while in our respective relationships, and the emotional connection deepened, I couldn't have found someone more attractive if I'd have tried (which I didn't really want to).
