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How to make a move on someone who is not out?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by dracob, May 15, 2013.

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  1. dracob

    dracob
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    Hey people of the interwebs!

    So I am a sophomore in highschool and have had the biggest crush on one of my very good friends for about 2 years now. The only problem is that Im not sure if he is gay. He always acts incredibly flirty around me and occasionally kisses me on the cheek and gives me long hugs, but always in a kind of joke way. He even talks about wanting me and stuff, but again in a joke kind of way.
    But I have such a strong feeling that it is more than a joke and it might be real. He has turned down 3 girls in the past 2 years and has never had a girlfriend.
    My gut instinct says that he just might not be fully conscious of his sexuality.

    I really want to ask him out but I have no clue how to approach the situation. I wish I could forget about him, but my feelings for him are way too strong to stop.

    Thanks for any help!!!! :eusa_danc
     
    #1 dracob, May 15, 2013
  2. Unsurevirgin

    Unsurevirgin Guest

    Okay don't make a move yet ,be his friend then when the right time comes date and then be in a relationship
     
    #2 Unsurevirgin, May 15, 2013
  3. Enchanted Mark

    Enchanted Mark
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    You should ask him if he's gay just to make sure. If he is, you should make the first move. I think it will go fine, since you know each other for 2 years. BUT, you will probably put your friendship in a risk by asking him out. Good luck! :icon_bigg
     
    #3 Enchanted Mark, May 15, 2013
  4. Mrcake

    Mrcake
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    Don't ask him out yet... First try bringing up an LGBT discussion topic and see what he feels about it. Then maybe when you are alone and hanging out, then try and mention something that pertains to being gay.. Or you could just ask if he is. Keep in mind that it can be awkward asking someone if he or she is gay. I sort of ruined a friendship over this, well made our friendship awkward... Good luck though.
     
    #4 Mrcake, May 15, 2013
  5. Beachboi92

    Beachboi92
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    I find it is best to not make a move. Don't risk ruining the friendship, don't risk creating complications in his life when he is not ready. Instead continue as they are and just be open with him about yourself. I found if anything playing hard to get unintentionally by committing to not pursuing closeted guys either keeps you our of trouble or gets them coming to you when they are ready and has them making the move. Either way it is better for you and better for them. Especially given that you are young and it could just be a passing crush.
     
    #5 Beachboi92, May 15, 2013
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