i moved in with some friends several months ago. about a month after i moved in i started to like one of them a lot. i told him i was gay and slowly told him how i feel about him. i feel bad all the time now and i want to be around him but he dodges me and makes any conversation we could have short with a shrug, fine, maybe, or i dont know. long story with a ton of information. let me make it shorter. i am moving out and it hurts so bad i know its for the best but it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest. i dont want to have sex with him i just want us to be good friends but were not he says mean things and makes me feel like im crazy. he tells me that we are friends but our friendship is "different" i dont want to be different i want friends that i can care about without being told that im weird or our friendship is different. im so tired. i want this nightmare to end. im depressed all the time and taking sleeping med's like there candy. im so scared to move i dont want to be alone. i want to love someone and i want him to love me back. i also just came out to my family it was hard and i cried a lot im not one of the gay guys that you can just tell that their gay so when i do tell people (my friends and family only) they are always surprised and cant seem to understand. i know that the hard times that this past few months have been will come to an end and things will improve bus sometimes its just hard to see the good when your heart is breaking over and over again.
hey there honey, welcome to EC! :icon_wink from what you said, i think you can only fix this by sitting down and having a serious conversation with him, that even if he is not interested in a relationship with you, all you want is be friends with him and that you telling him that you are gay and like him is not going to change that it was very brave of you to tell him something like that, you should tell him that it took a lot of time for you and was pretty difficult to be able to tell him this, try to make him understand that it was not easy to do it but also, try to give him some time, he might be angry because he is surprised, and scared that being close to you will "make him gay" or something silly like that, or scared to be made fun of by others, etc., tell him what you feel, tell him that you are going through a lot at the moment and you are scared of being alone, but most importantly tell him that you understand if he is not interested and that you just wish to be friends, and tell him you understand that it might be strange for him too, maybe if he thinks you understand why he is being so evasive, he can try putting himself in your shoes and maybe understand what you are going through if you are interested in having a relationship with him and he is straight and does not want to, sadly, i have to say that sometimes it happens, you cant make him be what he isnt, i know that's not what you are most sad about but i just wanted to say it to you, but dont feel bad about it honey, there are a lot of guys out there! :icon_wink but also, if this guy insists in being an ass (no pun intended) with you, and keeps being mean just because of what you are, honey, i dont think this guy is your friend, a friend is always there for you, if this continues, i think you should try to move on from him because its bringing you nothing but pain and sadness but if you are feeling alone honey, dont be afraid, we are always here, you can always try talking to everyone on EC and we'll do our best to help you, we'll not just help you but we can be friends too of course! (&&&) (*hug*)
yeah i think its time to move on because i have tried to explane that i only want to be friends. if i say one thing wrong or dont explane myself he takes it the wrong way and i think i do the same with him like when he goes out of his way to not sit neer me. thank you for your post. i would love to be friends i dont have any friends that understand or are like me at all and i would love to have a few.
You shouldn't really think like "I've got to move on!", because you will probably find that it will only make you more pressurized and perhaps even upset you, because you are basically telling yourself that it is all over and there is no chance of you getting with him. Move out, but maybe invite another friend around occasionally and they will keep you company and provide condolence, and reassurance.
i moved out last night im staying with another friend temporarily till i can move in to a more long term place. i love him and i could never totally just never speak to him again but i sometimes feel if i was to chose never to speak to him again that would make him the happiest. i do love him i dont cair how i feel as much as i do about him so i will see what some time of separation will do for our friendship. i hope it helps and hope is all i have right now.
