Hello, I'm a 23 year old student who's always been very timid. I get anxious when I'm around people of my age, and for that reason I don't have friends. I don't like being a lonely person, I want to change, but it's something I feel is very difficult to overcome. The reason I don't feel comfortable when I have to relate to other people, I believe can be explained by past experiences. I was bullied and ridiculized in highschool for being gay, and also for being a weak person who wouldn't dare to stand up and defend himself. Although I'm in college now, where people are more respectful, and I even recognize the unpleasent events from my teenage years are gone, the exact same feelings of anxiousness and fear persist. If anyone here had the same kind of experience and was able to get over it, his story and how he managed to solve this issue would be helpful and appreciated. I don't want to live like this anymore. Thanks in advance!
First off, congrats for wanting to change for the better!(*hug*) Take baby steps. Do something outside of your comfort zone that makes you slightly uncomfortable each day (within legal means, of course!). If you have a counselor at college, I strongly recommend going to them to voice out your hurt and to ask for help. It's never shameful to ask for help when you know you need it Also, if your college has any LGBT-club, I recommend going. You'll be able to meet people who shared similar experience and you can also get to practice your social skills as well:eusa_danc
I'm very shy. But i'm better than I was and i continue to improve. For me the key is your own self opinion. Firstly you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop thinking of your self as a victim (this takes time). Secondly you have to trust yourself and to be proud of who you are. Then you can go out there in to the world a throw yourselfs into social situation and the most important thing is to not analysis your performance just try and be yourself and accept that it's going to take time before you can fully socialise in the manner that you want. Best of luck I know how much extreme shyness (social anxiety) can suck.
