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Why the hell am I falling for my mate?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by rachelv, May 19, 2013.

  1. rachelv

    rachelv Guest

    Sorry bad english, so, here it goes :
    I have a best friend of my age, we are both sixteen, and we are friends for 3 years already. I’m a girl, and I've been always confuse about my sexuality, until 1 year ago when I told him I’mah lesbian, and had my first girlfriend. Anyway, we broke up.
    When I first meet him, I was like a scared street cat, had depression and ezquisophrenia, and anorexia was killing me. He were the only one that got close to me and soon we were mates, like a connection between us that make everything so easy to share, even though knowing I’m a girl, he easily saw I liked to be treated as a guy, so he went and did, without asking, exactly what I needed from him, calling me “dude” and sharing his “adventures with girls”, playing games and fooling around. Since then everybody thinks we are weird, because I’m all lesbo and stuff, and he’s kinda retard (but very intelligent), walking like a dumb guy, and I look like a white rapper from 2000(even though I like heavy metal), we make people laugh, but we never seems gf, bf thing.
    So since my girlfriend broke up with me, he started telling me thinks he never did. One thing really moved me, he told me how was his first kiss, and I felt something on a place I think I shouldn't.
    I never kiss my girlfriend, mean, not French kiss. (Sorry if it looks silly teen-drama)
    I too feel like a transgender sometimes. Now the problem:
    I feel that I might be in love with my mate.
    But I know I’m lesbo.
    I don’t feel any sexual attraction to my mate. Cause he’s a man. I feel sexual attraction with girls.
    Still want to kiss him and see what fells like.
    But I feel like a man.
    I still want to marry a woman in future.
    I still want a girlfriend.
    And I can’t tell him this stuff because if somehow we just give a shoot and then back being mates, he will make fun of me for the REST. OF. MY. LIFE.
    He will make my life a living hell. Any discussion will end up with that asshole laughing his pants off saying “but you were in love with this asshole here one day”
    Then I’ll want to kill the shit out off him, because we are going to the same college, and he’s never going to let me go that easily.
    He’s the only freaking man that I ever felt this thing, and I’m really scared.
    Anybody have any idea of what’s going on with me? It's this normal? am I turning into bi because of him?
     
  2. rachelv

    rachelv Guest

    Anybody? ...