I need some advice; I'm not quite sure what to do in this situation. There are two guys interested in me. The first guy, let's call him John is someone I met in college in January. The second guy, Dave, is a guy I talked to on an online dating site at around the same time. I had a crush on John for a long time but he was already in a relationship. I was sure he liked me back and when he broke up with his boyfriend he started asking me to hang out with him. Then he started going out with another guy and he stopped talking to me. Then recently he broke up with that guy and started talking to me again. We hung out and in the end it turned into handjobs and cuddling. We kept talking to each other and I eventually asked what it is we were. He said we're friends and that he likes me but he is going through some things and doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. I said I was fine with that and would also be down with having a friends with benefits kind of thing. Fast forward a week to this weekend, and he says he doesn't have time to hang out with me. Then I came out to my parents and started freaking out so he let me come over and we did the cuddling, making out and handjob thing again. But I noticed on his phone that he was talking to someone else on an app who sent him a text saying "your cute". So I'm fairly certain he is looking for other guys. I'm feeling sort of confused about the whole thing with John, whether or not he is genuinely interested in me in a romantic way or just physical. Because I'm still hung up on him. As for Dave, we haven't actually met, but he seems really sweet. He is really shy and is sort of putting off the whole meeting with me. The thing is, I don't want to get to know him really well if things with John pull through. Basically, I really like John, he says he likes me but might be looking for another guy and I don't want to keep going with Dave until things with John are certain to not keep going. I'm not sure which guy I should be going for and if not, how to break things off with either one of them. I don't want to go too far with one and then have it seem like I'm cheating with the other. Thoughts?
I completely agree. Honey, John is using you and you're letting him. Either confront him or drop him, but don't let him keep taking advantage of you. No one deserves to be used like a toy dear. :tantrum:
Can u two answer am I crazy thread ? I need advice ---------- Post added 19th May 2013 at 09:06 PM ---------- Can u answer ami crazy thread ? I need advice ---------- Post added 19th May 2013 at 09:06 PM ---------- Can u answer am I crazy thread ? I'm in need of advice
Give Dave a try. Considering John's history and the phone message, well I could presume that John would dump you after he gets tired of toying around with you; confront him. And that Dave guy seems sweet.
Thanks for the advice, guys. I thought it was like that, just needed some help with it. Dave seems very nice but I don't think we have much in common, we come from completely different backgrounds.
I am not qualified to give relationship advice since I've never had one. That said...I think there are successful relationships where the partners have different interests. And maybe if you get to know Dave better, you'll find something in common. Even if there is no future with Dave, I'd say there is less future with John. Frankly, my sense is that he's using you for "in the meantime" sex. I won't say casual sex is necessarily bad, but, on the other hand, it sounds like you want something more.
I talked with John about the possibility of us being in a relationship and he said we would just stay friends so we've cleared that up. But in the meantime I think we'll continue experimenting with each other. I don't see the downside of casual sex as long as you're not involved and you know the person. My feelings for John are already subsiding and I'm moving on to Dave so I think this is working out about as well as I could have hoped.
