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What do I do from here? idk what I am

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by jasonpaul, May 20, 2013.

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  1. jasonpaul

    jasonpaul
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm 20 in a frat at a big school and "straight acting" (play sports, hate fashion, etc). I was always very bicurious growing up, and after coming to college i started dating this guy in secret and very quickly came to the conclusion that i was gay. It was immeditatly infinitely more gratifying than any relationship I had been in with a woman. Unfortunately, we're broken up now because I'm closeted.

    Since breaking up, I haven't hooked up with any other guys but I have hooked up with a girls. For some reason, I had assumed that since I was attracted to guys that meant I was gay. I never even considered the option that I was bisexual. But every time that I did, I was surprised by how much enjoyed the experiences. I've noticed that my attraction to women is continually growing stronger ever since realizing that I was in fact attracted to women, Recently, I find myself thinking about women much more often than men when i masturbate, and my orgasms have been more intense since switching back. So...I guess I'm not gay?

    Thinking back on it, I realized that most of my feelings for my ex-boyfriend were very romantic and passionate...but less sexual than when with women. When I miss my boyfriend (which I do quite a bit since we ended due to external forces rather than a falling out), I miss HIM, and spending time with HIM, and doing cute things with HIM. I don't miss the physical aspect of the sex as much, but just the fact that it was so intimate and nice with HIM. Whereas I've never had that strong romantic connection with a woman, where its more physical/sensual/visual. I like men for companionship, women for sex. Should I sacrifice the better sex for the better companionship? Or should I wait it out for a woman who finally is able to make me feel a romantic connection? (My previous girlfriends just seemed like hot friends who I could have sex with...none of the crazy chemicals and stuff haha)
     
    #1 jasonpaul, May 20, 2013
  2. wanderinggirl

    wanderinggirl
    Full Member

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    I've had a similar experience (except that i id as female): I have been physically attracted to the guys i've dated in the past, but my romantic feelings often lie with women, and now I'm starting to shift more towards women in terms of sexual feelings too, but who knows. And when I masturbate I think about women usually. I've decided to say screw labels, I'll just be who I want to be. When I need a label, I settle on "queer" because it means whatever I want it to mean.

    Some frats have reps for being shitty in terms of LGBTQ inclusiveness, but not all of them. Do you think that being with dudes (forget about labels) would distance you from the frat? I used to think really poorly of greek organizations for their inclusiveness, but I have a friend who came out as trans while he was in a sorority; most of his sisters were totally supportive. and then there was that whole thing at Bentley I think, where a frat brother who was trans wanted top surgery but insurance wouldnt cover it, so his brothers rallied together the money for it. soooo maybe it woulnd't be too bad to come out? use your own judgement of course, but it seems like several greek orgs are stepping up.
     
    #2 wanderinggirl, May 20, 2013
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