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Friend who I am in love with has breast cancer

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by dogmommy, May 21, 2013.

  1. dogmommy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2013
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I have a really close friend who I realized at age 41 was the instrumental piece of my mystery of whether I was bisexual or not. I come from a very religious background in the south. I followed along with the good girl doctrine of marrying my college sweetheart. I then divorced 10 yrs later and married again. This one didn't last either. I always was presumed to be gay because of the old stereotype of playing college tennis. It has become an eye opening experience looking back at past thoughts, behaviors, feelings, etc. All those internal signals were deeply buried until last year. She hit me like a ton of bricks when I met her. She was so strikingly georgeous and funny. We hit it off instantly through tennis. We have so much in common it's riduculous. She told me when we first met that she had female sex partners in the past. I was so terrified of my feelings for her that I flatly denied them and told her of some past misconceptions of me from the past and said I am straight. As I got to know her, it made me question my whole life. I have grown to love her deeply. The only problem.....she has a live in boyfriend now and I am terrified to tell her the truth. I have seeked counseling several times. I have opened up to a couple of friends about her. Recently, my friend has discovered she has breast cancer and has to have surgery and treatments. It has devastated me that I can't or won't show or tell her how I really feel except to say in a friend zone kind of way that I love her. What should I do? Keep this bottled up or tell her the truth. What if I drive her away? What if she treats me differently? I am literally terrified...help????
     
  2. Unsurevirgin

    Unsurevirgin Guest

    Support her and tell her u love her :slight_smile: u will regret not telling her bc she doesn't have that many months or yrs to live . Tell her and cherish her every second and minute and hr u can :slight_smile:
     
  3. Sarah1

    Sarah1 Guest

    Tell her the truth!!!
     
  4. Envira

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2013
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    Gender:
    Female
    Tell her how you feel. Tell her you love her. Tell her you will wait for her, or be there even if she isn't. It'll be comforting for her to know either way. And if she feels the same way about you, then you'll both be relieved.
    Just do it. It's what's best.