I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about typing this because I'm not really good with expressing my feelings. All my life, I have always been very quiet and shy. I always kept to myself. In high school, I had a small group of friends but all of them turned out to very horrible people. Since I've been out of high school and I'm not in college at the moment, I have an even harder time making friends. I'm not the type of person to go up to someone and strike a conversation. I would like to have friends but it's so.. hard. As of right now, I have no friends. The only people I talk to is, my girlfriend, my family and her family. That's it. It's horrible. Sometimes, I am disappointed in myself because of my shyness. I also think the other reason I have a hard time making friends is because.. a lot of my friends in the past have backstabbed me in some way or another. So now I feel that if I try to make a friend, I feel like they are going to do the same thing. After watching all 6 seasons of The L Word, I wish I had an close knit group of lesbian friends. That would be perfect. :lol: Oh, my girlfriend knows about how shy I am and how I have a hard time making friends but she really doesn't understand because she is not shy at all. That's why I came to you guys. Any advice would be great. Thank you. <3
I'm very shy but I have improved lately. I know I haven't learned to control my shyness or anything yet but I think the only way to do so is to change the way you think. Facing your fear for most phobias works but for shyness or social anxiety it's not enough you have to change the way you think about social situations instead of being like "I'm really awkard, everyone hates me" you have to train yourself to be more positive like "yes i was a bit awkard but at least I had a go and I'm sure people like me because I'm a nice person and if they don't it's their lose". My personally experience is that finding a same sex partner is harder than finding a friend (I don't really had both at the moment although I'm hoping to at university) so if you can find a gf I'm sure your eventually find some nice friends. Although remember that just because someone is lesbian doesn't automaticly mean they are the best friend for you, don't turn down straight people as friends just because their straight. Gd luck, trust me I know how much extremme shyness can suck!
I know exactly what you mean. I want to make friends so badly but, my brain is just like "No." It's frustrating because i do try really hard to go out and be friendly to people, but it's insanely hard. I have no fucking clue what to say to people "Hi. I dislike being in social situations, and really don't want to talk to you at all. Let's be pals"? How am I supposed to know what they're interested in? ARG! All the friends I have were the ones to initiated the friendship. Is there a Making Friends for Dummies book, or something? How else did everyone get so good at it? I'm sorry this turned more into a rant. But I totally got you; I know the feel.
I personally hate talking to people and enjoy being on my own (although there are a few people who are fun to talk to), but sometimes societal expectations get in the way of that. As someone with zero social skills, I've learned how to deal with people by watching how others react. Smile when you meet someone, make a few jokes, etc. The parts of social protocol that no-one ever explains. My point is that you can easily seem likable just by observing how most people react to certain situations. I feel like this is probably awful advice, but it's my approach.
If there was really a Making Friends for Dummies book, I totally need to read it! :lol: ---------- Post added 21st May 2013 at 09:15 PM ---------- I don't think it's awful advice. Thank you so much!
Go to a comic con,spa,beach,movies,lesbian bookclub,join a sport ,coffee shop be energetic ,find stuff u like ,learn more about ur self first and let ppl get know u more and see the real you
