I met this girl online a few months ago...safe site to assume she was who she said she was...we started talking, just intending to become friends, I wasnt looking for anything serious anyways, and she wasn't either. We ended up talking a bunch and finally started talking offline, ended up texting and calling all the time. We lived several states away from eachother so we didnt really want to start anything bit. After a while I gave in when I realized I was actually developing feelings for her. She was amazing. We started grtting more and more flirty until we started just basically acting like we were dating, stupid since we hadnt actually met. It got to the point where we needed to see where this was going so we wanted to meet. We planned on her coming out here and I flew around my house for a week trying to get everything ready. I was so nervous, thinking that the girl of my dreams was coming. By the day she came out got here, I was practically freaking out. I had planned for the entire weekend, wanting to show her all around. I honestly even picked out the place I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend, I knew I wanted this to work. She got here and everything was amazing. That first kiss was...woah..we got back to my house, and I'll admit, even I think things went too fast. Everything started to get heated up and pretty much halfway through everything, she wanted to stop. We did. I just thought we moved too quickly. So we decided to go somewhere to get away from that for a while, I just wanted her to be comfortable. While we were driving she started crying. When we got where we were going, she was still crying. I asked her what was wrong, tried to get her to explain what was going on, I thought I freaked her out moving so quick. She said she was homesick. I told her that was fine. Then she said that she just wanted to spend the weekend as friends, since we never got to do that. I said that's fine, it made sense. I was honestly fine with it. We walked around for a few hours, I showed her around my hometown a bit and then we went and picked some stuff up for the weekend. We got back to my house. She went and showered and I went down and talked to my roommate, who is also my best friend, and told her what was going on. She told me to just be patient, she was probably just nervous. Me n the girl went back upstairs and I turned on a movie. She sat as for away from me as possible. Then she started acting funny and I knew her allergies had to be getting to her. I have two dogs and a cat and shes allergic to both, the cat was locked up. So I made her go outside with me and take a walk. On the walk we talked about where she could go for the rest of the weekend since she wasnt going to be able to sleep in my house. She had an aunt she could go stay with and I tiold her I could pick her up the next day and we could go somewhere. She told me that wouldn't work and I asked if it was cuz they didnt know she was gay. She looked at me and goes, I don't think I'm gay. My heart broke at that minute. I just stayed quiet and we eent back to the house to get my car so we could go sit at a park. We got there and she started coming back to normal. She didnt remember any of the walk or anything she said so I told her. I started crying. I hurt because I knew by the look on her face that she was being honest. So we talked about it for a while. Got back in the car while she tried to get ahold of her aunt. She told meit wasnt me, that I was the perfect girl for her, that i was beautiful, and all that. Which made me cry even harder. I couldn't hear this from the girl I was falling for. I know I let myself fall too fast too hard. Ice learned from this. We texted a little over the weekend, she said she was just as upset as I was. Then we decided we needed some time to get over this. We both had said we still wanted to be in eachothers lives. I texted her after a few days, I couldn't move on with some answers. I had told her before that when she was ready that she could text me whenever. The last day we talked I had found out she deleted me out of her phone altogether. I had gotten rid of most of the stuff from her because it hurt to look at. I had kept her number. She told me I came up unknown when I called. That was the point it became real. She never intented to keep in touch. She was going to let me think that we were going to still talk. I told her that it hurt, she saidbshe hurt too. But she was hurting from realizing she was straight after so many years, and I was hurting because I lost an amazing person who made me so unbelievably happy. I was mad. I'm still mad. I know its not something she chose. She said she had every intention of getting here and starting a relationship but when she got here, she didnt feel anything anymore. I don't even know what to think...I told her I wasnt mad and that I couldn't hate her. But that night and the following day I just started to get angry.I am mad, I'm pissed, and I'm hurt. I know I have to get over this and I will. I just feel like I had my heart rripped out of my chest just to have it played with and stomped on. Part of me wishes I had never met her or started talking to her in the first place. I feel like I'm not allowed to hate her, but at the same time, I sort of do....:help:
I guess I'll summarize so its not so long. I met an amazing girl. She came out to see me. We started getting into things and she stopped, didnt wsnt to anymore. We hung out for a while longer and then she left. I really really liked her, started falling for her. She told me she realized she wasnt gay when we were in the middle of things...I toldnher I couldn't hate her for it because it wasnt something she could control or choose. She told me I was the perfect girl for her, insult to injury is that point, but she wasnt gay. My problem is that I am mad. I feel wrong for being mad at her. But I can't help it. I feel like my heart was played with. Now we don't even speak...she was right about us not being able to talk. It doesnt hurt as bad. I have nothing left to remind me of her except a few songs...I deleted everything else. My question is simpley...can I be mad at her for this? I feel bad about it, but I am pissed. I started to fall for her and then she just ended it completely. Severed ties and that was it...I feel lost. I'm mad, but I miss her like crazy...
You sound exactly like me and my ex except the visiting part , I want him back but he just didn't want me as his friend and I couldn't take it hearing another girl was being intimate with him . So we deleted numbers yesterday ,we broke up in march
That sounds the same! I wish I hadnt been the one to have to "help" her figure out she was straight. I do feel like I can get over now that I have no way to contact her. I just feel like a fool, falling for her. Looking back now, there were signs that she wasnt 100% straight. She said she'd been that way for years. So she has to go through that. But I still dont find it fair. First girl I like, and I have her ripped away from me...I just want to find someone that i can actually love. I've been alone for so damn long...
Sounds like me I've been alone until he cam3 and I was stupid to dump him bc I wasn't in love with him I was just emotionally attached.
I think that's part of the reason I got attatched to her so quick. Ive never been told I'm beautiful and all that stuff. I got sucked in so quick. And I started the whole thing. I didnt love her, but I could tell I was closing in on it. I guess that's good. I mean I'm glad she can live her life now knowing who she is. And I know who I am. But that's the only good thing that came out of this. I miss her, but I'm starting to think I miss havingsomeone to talk to. There's someone else out there. For both of us. Its just a matter of finding them...
I've never been told that except I've been telling myself bc of my low self esteem and I got sucked in too and I miss him.
That's one thing she did teach me. I appreciate it too. We all have to love ourselves. She taught me I have to say it to myself and believe it. Everyone is beautiful. You are too. Its easy to get sucked in when you have someone making you feel good. You'll find someone and I will too. We just have to hang in there and life as best we can.
I feel bad bc I cheated and said I wasn't attracted to him and I was hurting him I cheated bc he was trying to do drugs he didn't wanna break up and I did and I told him to wait ,last Friday . I asked him to be my bf and he didn't accept it . he said I was emotionally hurting and played his with heart and I wasn't and now he's with female friend doing drugs and being intimate with her with . I just couldn't be his friend knowing that . But I miss him . He did drugs b4 but when he was dating me,he turned himself around .
