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Next step: How to get to know other people?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by wandergirl, May 23, 2013.

  1. wandergirl

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    Hello everyone.
    I've recently accepted i'm a lesbian and i'm only out for two people, my best girl friend and my therapist, though i don't talk about it very often with any.
    I'm pretty ok with the acceptance to myself and my therapist and i have other major topics to discuss so my sexuality doesn't come to topic that often.
    My best friend was really cool when i told her and she also told me we could go to a gay club so i could get to know other girls, but recently she moved out of town for university and only comes once a month, so i don't have anyone to go out with in the gay scene.
    I'd like to get some advice about getting more in contact with other gay people.

    the options i have in mind are first to join a lgbt dating website - which i already did - but the thing is that i'm shy to make the first move and talk to someone there, and i also don't know what to say.
    another option is to go to a gay club. but then again, it's hard to find a time to go with this friend and i feel uncomfortable with going there by myself. any advice on going alone? How should i approach to a girl a find interesting?
    last, i know i should try to get to know other gay and lesbians and try to work on friendship at least, but the problem is that i don't know any lesbian or gay person i could be close enough to help me with this.

    Thank you! :icon_bigg
     
  2. FemCasanova

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    Hi, welcome to EC :slight_smile:

    Sounds to me like you already know what you need to do, it`s just doing it that is a bit problematic. You can get lucky and meet someone at a gay club. It`s a difficult scene to date in though, because mostly people don`t go to clubs to find love, but rather either to have fun or get lucky. But it`s possible. Internet dating is better in my opinion, as long as we follow the golden rules of safety. Meet the person in public, get a feel for who she is, before taking on a second date. How to do the online dating? Do a google search on how to make a successful profile, add a picture where you look happy and from your best angle, and you might have people starting up a conversation. Just be yourself, be genuine, talk about the things you`re interested in, but more importantly, ask the other person questions that will show you whether the two of you have something in common. Once you start finding common ground, the conversation goes a lot smoother. It`s easy to know what to say, once you get some practice. Ask her what music she likes, movies, color, etc, whatever you are remotely interested in, that she might appreciate as well.

    How to approach a girl out on town, well, very carefully, they bite :wink: Nah, they don`t. Just go up to her and say hi. Introduce yourself, and tell her you are trying to get to know more people, that you`re new on the scene. Try one who isn`t swarmed by people, it`d get a lot easier. Same rules applies. Be interested in who she is, but not too interested, like where do you live and stuff, she might get creeped out, lol. Give her a genuine compliment, preferably not related to her clothes, unless she`s wearing something really nice that she obviously put effort into. Complimenting her hair, eyes, whatever you see about her that you really like. If compliments aren`t genuine, they don`t work.

    What about LGBT organizations/youth clubs where you live? Have you googled it up, looked around? Those are great for meeting new people and potential dates :slight_smile:
     
  3. wandergirl

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    Thanks :grin:
    i havent made much improvement with that yet... i mean i havent got involved with any girls yet, but at least EC has helped me get the self confidence to come out... and it turns out that the 2 friends i came out to have been very supportive, so i can i i'm getting less nervous and lost about it. also, i feel i'm more self confident to take the next step... let's hope i soon have an opportunity to meet other gay girls :slight_smile:
    thx again :slight_smile:
     
  4. biggayguy

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    Do you attend a university? There may be a Gay-Straight Alliance on campus. That is how I first met gay people. Maybe you could check for a list of student organizations. Then ask discretely about their meeting time and place.
     
  5. wandergirl

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    not only catholic churche has a big influence around here but also my university is related to the methodist church, so this is not an option :frowning2:

    i'm still trying to find a gay community around though...