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How to handle a crush?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Nick35, May 23, 2013.

  1. Nick35

    Nick35 Guest

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    So I have a huge crush on a friend of mine. We have grown pretty close over the last year. We both have leadership roles a club and we hang out often as a group. To make this easier I'll call him Andrew. Andrew is very shy. He only really talks to 15 people and I am honored to be one of them. I find his awkwardness to be very cute and it only contributes to my crush on him. Andrew always looks into my eyes every time we have a conversation. He has such perfect eyes. Andrew has opened up to me on several occasions. He told me about his strict Chinese grandmother and how she constantly tells him to go out and find a girlfriend. He has some funny stories and I can tell when he is really trying to make me laugh. The topics of homosexuality and gay rights have come up while we were hanging with friends and he is always looking at me during these conversations . One time he looked right at me and told me that he had no issues with gay people. He didn't look at the rest of the group, his comment was directed at me. Also anytime someone makes a gay joke he looks straight at me to see how I respond. Andrew often sits with me at our schools library during lunch. He leaves his lunch table half way through the period and then he meets up with me in the library. He only ever sits with me if I'm by myself though. If I'm sitting with someone he doesn't know he will sit at a computer and look over at us a couple of times. On time I was talking abut this girl who was really into me from another school. He was really interested in what I said. i then went into what aspects make up my "type". Andrew and I both volunteered at the towns fashion show. I was volunteering with some girlfriends and he told me it sounded like fun and he volunteered as well. Do straight guys usually go for fashion shows? I was not expecting him to attend such an event. We both ended up having a blast and I even caught him looking at me across the room multiple times. One time on a bus ride I placed my foot next to his on the bus to see how he would react. He simply just looked down and maintained contact. I'm starting to really get attached to Andrew. I have recently recovered from a crush who turned out to be straight (liked him for a really long time and finding out that he was straight hit me really hard) so I really don't want to get hurt again. Do you guys think that there is a chance that Andrew is gay? He is a little awkward and shy so I don't want to miss interpret the signals. Is there anything I can do to almost test to see if he is gay? I'm not ready to just flat out ask him. I don't want ask around our group of friends because I'm not out to any of them (I'm out to my girlfriends but not my guy friends). I also don't want to accidentally start any rumors about him because I don't want to hurt his self esteem. Any comments or advice would be awesome!
     
  2. LD579

    Full Member

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    I feel like Andrew, based on what you've written here, thinks you may like other guys. It sounds like you're not out to him... I'll give you some advice which applies for your past crush, present crush, and future crushes: most guys are straight and like girls only, just as how most girls are straight and like guys only. If one were to assume anything, it'd be that guys like girls and that girls like guys. That's a somewhat negative attitude to have, but arguably it's also the most sensible and realistic.

    I see no real evidence that Andrew would like guys. Obviously, I don't know him, so I can't be 100% certain. I don't think he'd mind if you came out to him, in the long run. As for his initial reaction... Who knows, but I doubt it'd be rejection or disgust.

    Your only real way of knowing is to ask him, really, and even then he may not be ready to tell others, and he also may not even like guys in that way. Some more substantial evidence would be if he checked out guys or if his eyes lingered on other guys. Be conscious that you're not finding signs where they don't exist. I wish you the best =)