Hi, So I've been spending time with my best friend for about a year now, but we instantly clicked and became great friends ever since. Here's the story: I first saw my best friend years ago and thought he was extremely handsome (at the time I was not out). I starting hanging out with him through a gay family member... But he is actually dating my family member for YEARS now. They live together and are basically an established couple. Anyway, we became incredibly close and I eventually came out to him. We've actually been intimate and I told him that I love him. I am actually IMMENSELY in love with him and he is on my mind constantly. He has told me he loves me as well but he cannot love me fully. I honestly feel we have a deeper connection and love for each other than anyone else in our lives. I can't see my life without him in it. I just don't know what to do, I know we love each other but I think he can't love me as much as I love him since he's in this long term relationship already. What's everyone's thoughts? This is so difficult for me
honestly? you're shady. not only are you going behind the back of your own blood, but this person even introduced you guys. and that guy? he's shady too. obviously cheating on your family member with you, why would you want someone that cheats? if someone cheats on their signifigant other with you, they'll cheat on you with someone else. i'm not trying to be mean, it's just my honesty.
Welcome to EC! Well, I'd say the options are pretty clear...and there's really only two. 1. Continue being the side action. It's not clear whether the family member is aware of your intimacy (and I'm always for full disclosure on these things). But whether he's aware or not, now or later, you will continue to be the side action. The family member has first priority, and will continue to have first priority. You will get the leftovers of his time, and so it'll be from here on out. 2. Break up with him and go looking for somebody else. And yes, that first part is important. If you think you can stick with him while looking, I can guarantee everybody you find will be wanting. Which do I think you should do? The second. Unless I'm reading this wrong, you've only been with this one guy. And your feelings are exceptionally common among first-timers. It's deep and wonderful and nothing will ever compare...until the next one. Yes, breaking up with him is going to be painful. But I think it's the right move in the long run. Lex
