How to deal with not being out to parents?

I'm in a very similar situation so I can relate.(*hug*) Except for me, it's not my parents I feel most guilty about but my grandparents. Sorry I'm not very good at giving advice.:icon_redf Just wanted to say you're not alone.

As to how I deal with it, I don't. Ignoring it is what works for me the best. I know it's not a good thing to do but it's the only way I can deal with the guilt.

 

I know what you mean. I've recently been in the same situation. What I did was find someone extremely close to me who I know wouldn't say a word if I asked them to, and told them. For me, it was my best friend, but it could be a coworker or a family member that isn't one of your parents. What people are saying is right, it gets easier the more people you tell. I haven't told my parents either, but I plan on it when I move out.
Though I do suggest that you only tell them when you get to the financially independent state you're headed to.
The best advice I can give you is that time is forgiving. If you do choose to tell your parents, good on you- you'd be much more courageous than I. And even if they don't like it, you'll have plenty of people around you who will care for you either way

 

I told my friend I was gay it help because he's gay I have wornded from age 11 now 21. he help me come out to my Family it was 4 weeks ago now .and my brother is gay too

 

Wise choice on waiting till you can support yourself. As for me, I don't feel guilty about hiding it from my parents. Maybe I'm just a horrible person. But coming out to other people felt really good for me, since it affirmed that most of the people who cared about me didn't give a flying fig about my sexual orientation.

Good luck!

 

I wasn't out to any of my home friends apart from one until a couple of months ago where I just broke down and I was like I cant carry this stress around with me anymore its just hurting to me so I sent a group email to my friends and that helped a lot when it came to being less stressed because them accepting me so easily made me realise being gay is only part of me and isn't that big of a deal so it made me more likely to be able to telly my family , having said that I haven't told them yet because my dad would react badly and I don't want my relationship with him too change , I do feel bad that I am lying to my dad but then I realise I am only protecting myself and if he was a super open left wing man than I wouldn't be lying its not just my fault that I am not out to him I think when I come out to him he mayby hurt that I told my friends first but I don't think he would find out I just think he might ask who else knows , but most gay people seem to do friends than family cause are generation seems to be more accepting and are friends are the ones we learn to lean on in are teen years and talk to about sex and relationships , its normally for people even with great relationships with parents to tell friends first because if you didnt have a good relationship with your family you wouldn't care what they thought so coming out to them wouldn't be so hard. Look after your self and do what ever feels best for you , guilt is hard thing to live with and only hurts you , you have no reason to feel guilty your protecting your feelings and there's.

 

your welcome , nice picture by the way I miss the L word , when it comes to being in relationships in the closet I really depends on the girl but everybody has been in the closet at some point so she should understand where your coming from , then again some gay people I have come across in my life seems to think everyone should be out and don't understand that not everyone has accepting parents. I would try and not let those people get too you and wait till your in stable relationships and have your own finances before coming out to your parents so you relying on them for finance support and a house over your head where you feel safe to come out (if you live at home that is). I have never been involved with a fully closeted girl but I can imagine it must be stressful and I wouldn't want to feel like somebodies secret , and I don't seem to be the only gay person who thinks like that so I imagine if you find someone's who you want to hang on to unless she's very patient you may have to come out to you friends.