I wanted to share this ongoing situation with my sister and any advice or feedback is welcome. My sister knew I was gay or had a idea since I was a teenager seeing me on the computer looking at gay related stuff not porn. She always had this attitude that I should keep my feelings a secret and never tell anyone. My sister used to be very accepting of gay people and open minded but somehow changed her tune. A few years later she was getting married into a rich North Dakota family that was very republican and conservative catholic. She warned me not to tell anyone I was gay especially since her wedding was coming up and told me to forever keep it a secret. Things did get sort of better after that until i officially came out to everyone on face book that she became very uncomfortable and hostile about it. She claims I am flaunting my sexuality and throwing in peoples face. That is what she said to my parents. My dad believes she is scared of what her in laws will think and therefore is being a jerk about it. Here is a nasty message she sent me " " I has nothing to do with my father in law. I has do with me, my husband, and everyone sick if seeing your stuff all over facebook. You are making everyone uncomfortable. no one wants to see that stuff or hear your opinions. FInd something better to do with your time. Get a hobby" My sister is now 25 and I am 22. Our sibling relationship is going six feet under with the hole being dug already. My parents are praying that we will work it out but I don't think it will happen anytime soon or maybe ever. Any advice is welcome.
Frankly, your sister's being a bitch. It's not her business what your sexual orientation is. It's not anyone's business, really, but yours, and if people have a problem with you on facebook, they can delete you as a 'friend.' I would just try to say ignore it. If you can brush it off, do, but if you can't, tell her that it is not her business.
Oh that sucks...I have to say, I think your sister is in the wrong here 100%, and it doesn't sound like you've done anything to warrant that kind of attitude from her. I don't know what you relationship is with your sister, but if it were me I would definitely let her know how I feel and that her attitude toward how you come to terms with your sexuality is wrong and totally unacceptable. She owes you an apology.
***I don't actually recommend this, but it's at least fun to think about...*** Flip it on her. On any and every picture of her with her husband post comments like "eeeew! Why are you flaunting your sexual orientation! Keep it in the bedroom!" :icon_wink Hetro privilege makes people blind. I've sorry your sister is being a nasty, homophobic bitch but do not doubt for a moment this IS HER PROBLEM. All you can really do is say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and go on living your life exactly as you want to. If she continues to harass you, consider blocking her and limiting contact.
Thanks for the support. I shared her attitude and message with tons of people and got the same reaction. I did confront her and the thing i noticed is how afraid she is to say that I am gay. So it has more to do with her not accepting my sexuality than me flaunting it on facebook. Yeah i will admit after coming out on facebook to everyone i did get carried away with my emotions and this crazy ability to express my thoughts but I did not do it to flaunt my sexuality period.
I agree with the others. She's not necessarily "hateful" in the truest sense of the word, but she's being really prickly, bratty, and generally insufferable. I'd tell her to speak for herself and above all, accept that you're going to do what makes you happy.
It is pretty much all on her hands. I told her how I felt and she just shot me down. Talking to her is like talking to a stone wall. If she wants a sibling relationship with me than she can make the first move and if not well i don't have sister anymore i guess. Sometimes even family members are not meant to be apart of your life and honestly the way she has treated me over the last few years I will be ok with that. Kind of sad perhaps but still ok with it.
My family is also very homophobic; I finally made the same conclusion as you and moved out at 16 and stopped all contact. As horrible as it is, it's just part of life and you have to evaluate if people are really meant to be part of your existance. She's clearly a toxic person who has issues, and it isn't fair that you're suffering because of those issues, so if it's any consolation I think you've made the correct choice (atleast, short term. She might come around though ). I don't really understand this phenomenon in society where family is everything. If you had a friend that turned out to be as toxic and nasty as she has been, you wouldn't think twice about telling her where to shove it, would you? Just because she's blood doesn't give her an inherent ability to be hurtful to you, and you should forgive her every single time. Wish you the best of luck, I know how hard it is to realise that your family are damaging your mental well being, but from my own experience, my happiness increased ten fold when I removed myself from a poisonous environment. So I hope the same can be said for you.
I am sorry this is happening to you Dano Not all of us are blessed with a supportive family network. There is nothing you can do about your sister's beliefs you might even find yourself realizing that maybe she is projecting some lesbian emotions into giving you trouble. I think you should shed all these people that are "uncomfortable" with your lifestyle. It is really unfair for her to ask you hide yourself like that. Maybe overtime she will have a change of heart. But as for now, make sure you separate yourself from all this negativity towards LGBT. It does harm to your psyche.
My parents are very accepting of my sexuality and my sister who is still in high school is getting used to the idea. All my relatives except my grandparents are not accepting of it including my sister. Just to clarify that is just my sister's problem not my family's. She had a long vendetta against me and I think she is trying to find every excuse to throw me out of the picture or her life for that matter. Right now she does not even speak to me in my parents home but the oddest part is her husband says a word or two to me and she says nothing. ---------- Post added 28th May 2013 at 07:28 AM ---------- Well said. My sister has no care in the world what damage she is doing to me and putting her out of my life is what is best for now. I did delete her from facebook and my phone. Like I said most people told me nothing on my facebook that is gay related or anything makes them uncomfortable. The funny thing about this is my sister told me not to tell anyone and she was more crazy about just before her wedding. Well she is in the wrong because everyone besides my grandparents are very supportive and they just don't care. What my sister is doing says more about her than anything else.
