Hi everyone, I just wanted to hear thoughts on something; my attitude towards people is: I will talk to you, I will engage in conversation with you and even go to lunch with you regardless of who you are or what you believe in. (If it so happens you engage in homophobia my attitude is that I won't tell you how hot "that" guy is if you won't tell me how you feel about it.) Now, logically I've come across some homophobic people especially at work (I have become surrounded by them.) I don't get into arguments with anyone because of my attitude, is this a good idea? Should I be more assertive in how I react to homophobia? Now before you shout: "YES! YOU NEED TO STAND UP TO LGBT PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!" hear me out. My reason for not being more assertive is because the image of the non-straight guy constantly fighting and getting into shouting matches and being overall "sassy" is a stereotype those against the LGBT cause use to excuse their beliefs. "Look at them they don't know how to act","they are obnoxious", "they don't know how to get along with anyone" etc. My approach is to not be so guarded and allow every person to really get to know me, because of this approach I've changed many of the perceptions and stereotypes that LGBT non-sympathizers around me have. One case (which I am very proud of, annoyed but proud) is this guy I met through my best friend (not a fan of the gays to say the least.) Up to this day he refuses to accept that I am a bisexual because "he really likes me as a person" (you can see why I would be slightly annoyed.) To the point where he's REALLY conflicted about me. I am proud that I am able to cause such internal conflict in a person that before me would not go anywhere near a LGBT person. So, what do you guys think? (!) here a banana to lighten up your day.
Two thoughts: First, you're under no obligation to begin an argument purely on principle when nothing immediate is happening. If someone says/does something really offensive and you want to either stand up to it or counter it with a joke or whatever, that's fine. But I don't think anybody is going to come after you for not initiating a debate out of the blue, particularly while at work. You've found your own way to be pro-active about being lgbt, and that's fine. Second, don't worry about what the "stereotype" says and how you have to act outside of it. If you legitimately don't want to follow it, then fine. But if there comes a point where you think it's warranted, go for it. People will ultimately believe whatever they want to believe, whether you fit the stereotype at any given moment or not.
No people don't need other beliefs down their throat. Stand up for yourself, but no need to get mad over homophobia. I hear it all the time at work and you kind of learn to just brush it off, though today I was fantasizing about stomping this one co-worker but that has been a long time coming. I get really angry over it, but I always remember that it won't matter in 10 minutes what was said, so I at least try to focus on that. I'm not out at work so I don't get personally joshed but hearing comments is enough.
I would just like to point out that anyone who challenges discrimination gets stereotyped this way - not because they actually are being obnoxious or anything, but simply because they're making people face their own attitudes and that's uncomfortable, so they'd rather blame that person for making them uncomfortable instead of admitting their attitudes need to change. Feminists get stereotyped as bitches for the same reason.
