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Pissed Parade/Pride Parade/Relate To Me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by followtherabbit, May 29, 2013.

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  1. followtherabbit

    followtherabbit
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    Earlier today I posted about my friends denial of my sexuality (titled; why won't they let me come out)
    WELL, the day went on...
    I had dinner with my brother and parents (who are divorced) before an awards ceremony at his highschool.
    I was shopping with a friend near my dads work and so I went there after to catch a ride with him (i do not drive due to epilepsy).
    In the car I asked him what his plans were for Sunday, and could he come walk the Gay Pride Parade. He said that it "wasn't his thing". I said "It's not your thing to support your kid?" and he got all flustered and said PARADES weren't his thing. Honestly, he's in denial of my sexuality too, not because he's homophobic but because it confusses him, I think.
    I don't have a great relationship with him so it wasn't very important to me, honestly now, I think I new he waas going to say no, and I was just looking for another reason to be angry with him...
    So, i live with my mom and my brother comes and stay with us wednesday nights and we were having tea (we inherited some british habits from my nana) and I asked them if they'd come and my very supportive mother said no, and my brother is on another planet right now, since he's 15 and thinks he can be an ass to everyone.
    ANYWAY, I almost started crying. I didn't think I cared that much. But she started making all these excuses like "it's going to rain" and stuff and I just lost it. She gave me this speech about how she supports me and so on, but I just feel like everyone has been SO UNSUPPORTIVE aaaall day looong.
    I need support.
    I need someone to tell me that my sexuality is just as valid as anyone else's.
    That I don't have to like one specified gender.
    That I can be proud of who I am, no matter who denys it.
    Who can relate?
     
    #1 followtherabbit, May 29, 2013
  2. FemCasanova

    FemCasanova
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    Have you tried sitting down with your mother, and told her that despite what people are saying, you are struggling with the feeling that people really don`t care, and that you are feeling desperate for support right now, and something more than just words? The important thing is staying calm, not accuse anyone of anything, but let them know that you are in real need of someone showing you that you are worth the support, that they care about how you feel.

    What I would do, is this;
    Tell your mother that the fact that you`ll be going to this parade alone, when so many other people will be having their friends and family there, is something you are struggling with, that it`s painful to feel like you`re the one person there who`s in it alone. That you want to go, but you`re thinking about all these other people who`ll be celebrating with their friends, their siblings and possibly even their parents, but you`ll be there alone with no one to celebrate with you. It`s a bit of a guilt trip, however as long as you avoid accusing anyone of anything, she won`t just raise her defenses and fail to hear what it is you are trying to tell her. Besides, if you do manage to convince her to go with you, she might actually have fun and end up being glad she went with you.

    Your mother probably hasn`t even considered what it is that you are actually feeling, in her mind just telling you she accepts you is support enough, and that you are only wanting to make her go to see the parade for some unimportant reason. She probably does not at all see the significance of her going with you, of showing her support in a different way.

    *hugs*
     
    #2 FemCasanova, Jun 3, 2013
  3. followtherabbit

    followtherabbit
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    ya you're right.
    I know she supports me, I think I really just needed to vent.
    I went to the parade with a bunch of friends and actually walked it with a friends younger sibling.
    He is gay, but not out so his sister who I am close with doesn't know but he knew I was queer and wanted to talk about it and being able to mentor someone made all my frustration with her go away.
    Thanks for your reply!
     
    #3 followtherabbit, Jun 30, 2013
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