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Unsure about a date tomorrow...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Dans le placard, May 31, 2013.

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  1. Dans le placard

    Dans le placard
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    So I'm going on another date already, with a guy I met on an online dating service. I've suggested we go for a drink/coffee in the afternoon and then see what happens. Of course, I'm happy at the prospect, but at the same time, I'm worried my date may already be getting overly smitten already. We shared pictures, and he said that I looked really cute. He also sent a message to me in which he referred to me as "hun".

    This will be my second date since coming out. I'm on good terms with the guy from Date Number 1 (we live quite a way apart, but we text each other fairly regularly), but I was definitely a bit downhearted initially when he revealed he felt we should just be friends, as I got too smitten too soon. I'm scared about disappointing him if my suspicions are right and I don't see much more than friendship.

    What should I do if I don't like him?
     
    #1 Dans le placard, May 31, 2013
  2. flymetothemoon

    flymetothemoon
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    Make sure you are honest with him about where you see things going, because although it might be a disappointment, it will be much easier to take if you are upfront about it rather than letting him think this could be something more when you aren't feeling it. Of course, I don't mean tell him the second you meet him in person, but if after the first date you aren't feeling a second one but would like to stay friends, make sure you let him know that clearly. Letting him down might be hard, but it's better now than later when he feels like you have deceived him.
     
    #2 flymetothemoon, Jun 1, 2013
  3. Filip

    Filip
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    Well, if that happens, you have a pretty good role model in guy #1, really.
    And a pretty good indication that letting people down doesn't have to lead to disaster. Guy #1 was direct and polite and hey: you overcame the disappointment and managed to have a good rapport with him.

    The one thing you have to remember is that leading people on is your worst option. And also that disappointing people is not always a bad thing. If you do it with honesty and compassion, the truth is the best gift you can give on a date. Even if it isn't the gift some might want, it's the gift everyone needs.
     
    #3 Filip, Jun 1, 2013
  4. Dans le placard

    Dans le placard
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    Thanks for your advice. Anyway, I went on the date, and basically that'll be it with this guy. To be perfectly honest, we actually had nothing to say to one another, and I honestly felt he was a bit weird (for reasons I won't go into detail here, simply because I can't be bothered) and nowhere near as forward as he was online, which says quite a bit about what online dating can be like, I suppose. Anyway, it's back to the drawing board, but I can't say I'm too depressed about it. :lol:
     
    #4 Dans le placard, Jun 2, 2013
  5. leice

    leice
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    Awww but hey at least you give it a try :slight_smile: I think maybe some people are much more quiet in real life then when they are online. (Not me though I am super chatty that my friends told me to shut up LOL) You are still really young so I think you will still have a lot of chance to date in the future :slight_smile:
     
    #5 leice, Jun 2, 2013
  6. Dans le placard

    Dans le placard
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    I am not in the slightest bit upset, don't worry! In fact, the first thing I did as soon as I was out of sight from my date was to laugh, if only out of exasperation. If I had to be honest, I felt like I was dating Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. I think he may have been autistic in all fairness; I just hope that he finds happiness eventually.

    And while I'd like to meet Mr Right, I know that I've still got plenty of time. I've only been out of the closet for a few months now, and I'm only in my mid 20s so I can't say that I'm desperate yet.
     
    #6 Dans le placard, Jun 2, 2013
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