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How does society react to same-sex couples in public?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ChristianHipstr, Jun 2, 2013.

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  1. ChristianHipstr

    ChristianHipstr
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    At the moment I'm still closeted, but bisexual nonetheless. Worrying about being in a public same-sex relationship isn't an urgent problem for me, but it does worry me. All I see these days is hate and violence to not only the same-sex couples, but the individuals in general. Obviously, half the time I won't have to worry abut this, and currently my only guy crush is more than likely straight, so it may be a while, but it will happen. I also, even if single or in a straight relationship, plan on wearing some kind of a indicator, like the bi flag colours on a necklace or something. (Another really cool idea I have is making a bracelet with gay pride colours out of UV beads, their pale coloured inside, but turn vibrant colours in the sun :bulb:). Anyways, apart from my ideas... If I do find myself in a same-sex relationship, I want it to be public, and won't want to hide anything. How would people react to this though? Holding another guys hand in public, will that just get nasty looks or will people even go as far to commit violent acts towards us? I do understand it depends on where you live, well.. I live in a urban part of Texas, near Houston. In school i've never seen much hate against homosexuality, but I'm worried about outside of school, like at a mall or something.

    Also:
    Honestly even worried about my family and friends too, my grandma can be verbally abusive, no doubt she'd use me being in a relationship with a guy against me, and one of my best friends even wrote a whole essay about how same-sex relationships and marriage are wrong and shouldn't be legalized. How would I go about having a open same sex relationship with these problems?
     
    #1 ChristianHipstr, Jun 2, 2013
  2. Tightrope

    Tightrope
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    Then don't broadcast it. Why do you have to?

    You're lucky to live in a part of Houston, and Texas, where it's mostly tolerated, especially in school. In public, you just don't know. Alone, you should never have a problem. If I'm eating lunch or dinner with one of my bi friends, no one thinks anything. But then, they're just friends and we just sit there eating, drinking, and talking.

    I will tell you that I was in a very liberal city with a lot of tourism, and there were 2 guys, both muscled, good looking, and about 30, and they were holding hands. A lot of people looked a little bit surprised or uncomfortable, but nothing happened. I wonder if it was because of how they guys looked or because it was a tourist area with a lot of people who weren't from this liberal city.

    Still, there's really no reason to advertise, especially if you are not out, you haven't figured out how your family will handle it, and aren't in a relationship. Take it easy.
     
    #2 Tightrope, Jun 2, 2013
  3. Gravity

    Gravity
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    In a sense, I get the feeling that this is all rather hypothetical, as you're not in a relationship yet - but that said, a few thoughts.

    Location is important, but it's not always as simple as the urban/rural dichotomy. Austin, from what I've heard, is very gay friendly, so there's that. But there are lots of rural places in the country that are too - Vermont, for example, and northern Minnesota. You'll get used to feeling places out as it becomes an issue, and you'll know where things are safe for you and your boyfriend or not. And even if you do misjudge things and people are offended, the actual likelihood that something violent would happen is extremely low - there is always the possibility, sure, and we hear about them in the news from time to time, but in the States these are, in the big picture, the vast minority of cases.

    Otherwise, a main factor here is going to be your boyfriend - how comfortable will he be showing affection in public? Some people are afraid of reprisal, and some people just aren't big on PDAs, even if they are comfortably out. So waiting until this actually happens and then seeing what this guy thinks will be a big part of the equation.
     
    #3 Gravity, Jun 2, 2013
  4. ChristianHipstr

    ChristianHipstr
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    I wasn't saying I'd broadcast it and just wave it everywhere. But, when the right time comes, I want to be who I am. And, if I get into a same-sex relationship, I want (if boyfriend feels same way) to be able to act exactly how I would in a hetero relationship while I'm in public. If your talking about the relationship: Holding hands isn't really "broadcasting" something. If your talking about my sexuality: I would prefer to wear at least some indicator... Publicly, I'm very stereo-typically straight, and want people to know I'm open to anything mainly because before I ever make a serious relationship, I want to try both. I'm ready to come out to my family whenever the time comes, I'll be 17 by the time I even have time for any relationship, so they'll only have 1 year to give me hell for it if they do. Anyways, this was just a little worry of mine, and thank you for your opinion on the matter :slight_smile:.



    I understand what your saying here, and yes it is very hypothetical but now that I'm getting more comfortable with who I am, I'm also starting to think of all the contingencies regarding such relationships.. Also, ya it will depend on how he would think of the situation, but like I said above, if i'm in a same-sex relationship, I'd hope to treat as I would a hetero relationship.
     
    #4 ChristianHipstr, Jun 2, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2013
  5. pinklov3ly

    pinklov3ly
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    This issue used to be one of my biggest hangups; how others would perceive me publicly if I kissed a girl in public. The thought used to freak me out, but once I tried it, I was absolutely fine. It actually felt awesome to kiss such a beautiful woman in public; I mean, I felt so lucky to have her.

    I wouldn't worry too much about what others think, although tons of people are not comfortable with PDA. It doesn't bother me, but I'm fair skinned, so I tend to blush very easily. So, if I become uncomfortable, it would be noticeable and very embarrassing. So, just go with the flow if anything, and try not to think too much about it.
     
    #5 pinklov3ly, Jun 2, 2013
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