So my new boyfriend expects me to hold him all the time while we watch movies,I have no problem with it,but im the only one doing stuff... he only turns his head each 5 minutes to kiss and holds my hand?Is he shy to do other stuff?Because he does not mind when I do it,like at all,he clearly likes it. He is pretty boring... Is he shy or does he just not like me?
It's possible he's just shy. Are you his first boyfriend? I can understand it's difficult not to have him reciprocate physical affection. That would be a deal-breaker for me. But before you just end it, maybe have a heart-to-heart conversation about how you'd like him to give a little back. Syster Adrian
Er. Ok, I'm slightly confused here. You say that he's kissing you every 5 minutes and holding your hand while you watch movies and that you're holding him (I assume you mean wrapping him in your arms). So it sounds like he is actually doing something. Do you mean that during movies you start making out with him and you'd like him to initiate making out activity sometimes as well? If you consistently start making out with him at these times, then he may already figure you're going to start things and so not be thinking in terms of needing to do anything. And the more you always start things, the more that behavior can be reenforced. Assuming I'm not majorly misunderstanding you here of course. It may not be so much a matter of him being shy as just being more passive or that he's operating on the principle that he's happy to be 'ready to fool around' whenever you want, but doesn't want to put you in the position of feeling like you have to do the same with him. Which may be another way of saying he's afraid of you rejecting him if he makes an advance and you're not in the mood and so prefers to wait until he knows you're ready and willing based on your behavior. Speaking somewhat from my own past experience in this area, actually. Anyway, I would agree with Pret Allez that you should have a serious conversation with him about it. Not being accusatory or asking if he doesn't like you anymore or such that's going to put him on the defensive. Rather, just let him know that you really like him and doing stuff with him, but you'd really like it if he'd initiate things sometimes. Note that if this is a deeply ingrained habit with him it may take a bit of time and patience to get him to both do this and do it on a semi-regular basis. Hope this helps, Todd
Counter-question: have you asked any of this to him? Because he'll be the one who can tell you why he's doing what he's doing, not us.
He probably is just shy. How long have you been in a relationship? He might be really cautious, because he loves you do much and he doesn't want to need it up.
