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Is he my friend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Typhoon, Jun 5, 2013.

  1. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

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    I don't believe much in Facebook Friendships etc. where everyone is happy and shit and can't make a post without saying 'lol' or '<3'.

    Anyone I've known this guy for over a year, he's in my class and I helped him out with notes when I saw he was lacking behind and he nearly always made a beeline for me and sat next to me during lectures. He joined Facebook a few months ago and anyway I sent him a friend request, not that I believe much in them to be honest, since I don't even know half the people on my own list.


    He never accepted it, at first I assumed he missed it. Several months later I messaged him some notes he had requested via FB link and I remembered about how he never accepted my request and re-sent it but he never acknowledged it. He had accepted the request of a mutual friend of ours.

    It's odd because he's the only person I spend the most time with and perhaps the closest 'friend' I've had in a long time. I knew he read my message about the notes (through the seen at thing at the bottom of the message), he in fact told me the next time we met that he liked my notes but I never brought the subject up.

    I don't know how I feel about that as I had grown to like him, but I did feel a little hurt I guess. Maybe deep-down he did not like me? I don't really get it, he spends a lot of time in Uni with me. How hard is it to click 'Yes' anyway? Asking him outright sounds kind of petulant and childish. I did like him, but ever since three weeks when he just ignored me like that openly without an explanation, I just don't really feel much of a connection anymore.
     
  2. LD579

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    This may sound selfish, but it could be for the best: if you aren't getting anything out of the 'friendship' (and I hesitate to call it such), then perhaps you shouldn't help him anymore. Really, it sounds like he's just using you to get a better grade...

    Do you think he knows you're gay? Do you think he has a problem with gay people? Does he have many friends on facebook? I ask these not for myself but for you. Consider the answers to those questions, and then you can decide whether or not you still want to help him (unless school is over for now, in which case I suppose you don't have to worry about that for a while).

    I mean... If he can't 'friend' someone who helps him, he must be very selective about his friends, or he has issues with you somehow which may relate to your known or perceived sexuality, or it's something else entirely. As for what that something else may be... I don't think any of us would know, and it's hard to guess without knowing more.
     
  3. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

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    No he does not know I'm gay. And he doesn't have a problem with them in any case. I honestly don't know. Yes he has quite a lot of friends on it (around 200 or so, I have slightly less). But it does feel like he's using me. I'm not stupid, is what flickers around my head everytime he asks if I have this or that.


    But I really don't have many friends, and the few that I have don't spend time with me, only he does on few occasions. I don't understand honestly. I like him, but sometimes, especially lately I just think that he's just exploiting me. I actually pondered the idea of rearranging notes to mean something else (we both study law, and you have to be very precise, a small error could result in a loss of marks) rather than outright lying about whether or not I have ''this'' or ''that''. I don't know how I feel about him anymore.

    I mean none of my other friends ask me openly all the time like he does, even though I can tell when they really need help.