I think my Mum secretly hopes that I am bisexual

You can't let your parents control your life. They brought you into the world and provided for you while you we're too young to fend for yourself. Beyond that, it is your life, not theirs.

 

Tell your mother that you are who you are, and that you hate children.

 

I had to make it perfectly clear to my mother when I came out to her. She, too, initially said things like "what if you meet a girl you like one day?" or "you do realise you won't be able to have children if you're gay". She seemed to think at the beginning that it was something I was choosing, but I set her straight and told her exactly how I felt about being gay, and that I know without doubt that I am and always will be and that she could either accept it or keep her nose out of my life, essentially. After a few more frank conversations with her about it, she's more accepting of it now than I am, in fact she's now the one encouraging me to come out to everyone and get on with my life.

I think you need to sit down and have a really honest conversation with her and lay everything out on the table and make it perfectly and abundantly clear that you are gay, and that is that. Don't life your life according to how other people want you to.

 

My cousin is gay. Him and his partner have been together for a long time. A few years ago they adopted 2 kids. A boy and a girl.

 

It sounds like this is more about her wanting grandchildren than about your orientation. She has probably dreamed about helping plan your bride's wedding. Then dreamt about babysitting her grandchildren. Those kind of dreams die since you're gay.

 

But gay couples can have kids. It's more difficult, but not impossible.

If you want children, maybe point that out to your Mom and tell her some of the options you could use to have some, such as adoption or surrogacy or whatever.