ok, so I absolutely adore my best friend and I've sort of accepted that I don't stand a chance, but I still end up showing off when I'm near hear and my heart still goes wild if we touch for some random reason. Like holding hands in a prayer or she has this habit to put her hand (especially in winter) in your neck without warning - as a greeting of sorts. (man I love it when she does that!!:love::icon_redf) She is still the last person I think about at night and the first in the morning. She the reason that I've noticed that I really can't be straight and had too stop faking it to myself. Basically I'm not moving on and really need to force myself. Or at least stop acting funny around her - sooner or later someone will notice! Also I'm slowly starting to feel confidant with who I am, but I am unsure about coming out in my last year of high school (only one teacher, my therapist and one very close friend knows for now) it could get very uncomfortable. I've been close to do so a few times but held myself back - it sort of came up in conversations...
im kinda in the same situation (but my best friend doesn't touch my neck or hold hands, she links arms for some reason and i love it too ) i tried to get over it once by putting another name in my head, it worked for a while until i realised they had a bf... just act like what you do is just your personality like what she does and maybe you could convince yourself that you dont like her either if you know it wont happen, i know its hard but we gotta try xx