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Accepted and Not by the Same Person- Mom

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ShayminFan37, Jun 6, 2013.

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  1. ShayminFan37

    ShayminFan37
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    About a year ago (end of June) I posted a picture on Instagram of me holding a sign saying "Bisexual and Proud!". I had come out to probably 20 friends and my mom prior, so I knew I had a support group behind me if something bad happened. When I came out to me mom she
    told me not to tell anyone else. She loves me no matter what, she says. I didn't tell her when I came out on Instagram. During this past week, somehow she found out about my post even though it was deleted a while back before she made an account to follow me. She said she wishes I didn't come out publically this early in life because people will judge even if I'm not being bullied (and I never get bullied I'm really grateful.) I was just so caught up in coming out I never took time to think about how it would effect my future... She asked me not to ever post anything about my sexuality on social media again- which won't happen. I want to be able to be myself in the world and not be judged, and she doesn't understand what it's like. She felt like I was advertising myself for sex and stuff like that, which I'm not. She told me about how I could "get kicked out of Catholic" - which I'd hate. Despite the church being anti-gay I truly have faith in my religion and I just don't know what to think about anymore. I can't say I'm straight to society but I can see some reason in her point of the constant sometimes subliminal judging. I just hate how the world can't accept everyone for who they are and it's slowly driving me insane. I haven't been able to tell anyone else about this but tonight I had to and thought emptyclosets was the best place possible.
     
    #1 ShayminFan37, Jun 6, 2013
  2. RainSprite

    RainSprite
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    It sounds like she's just worried, and would rather have it so her child didn't have to face any difficulties. I'm thinking when she told you that, perhaps she was worried about possible negative reactions from other people and how that could hurt you.

    It is rather unfortunate that every person in the world is not accepting of diversity.
     
    #2 RainSprite, Jun 6, 2013
  3. QueerQueen

    QueerQueen
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    My mom is somewhat the same way, accepting yet not quite fully accepting, but I just look at it as her being ignorant. When you think about the long process of figuring ourselves out, finding out that we like the same sex, coming to accept it and then telling the world. It doesn't happen overnight so you can kind of see how others might take it. It doesn't mean they won't be accepting of it over time.
     
    #3 QueerQueen, Jun 7, 2013
  4. FemCasanova

    FemCasanova
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    I think your mother really just wants to protect you, and that she doesn`t quite understand how important it is to you that you get to be yourself. Have you explained to her that feeling like you need to hide who you are is making you feel that you have something to be ashamed and insecure about? That it`s making you feel bad about who you are? If you angle it like that, maybe then she`ll understand how important it is to you that you don`t feel like you have to hide. At the same time, let her know that you understand that she loves you and just wants you to be safe. That you love her too and that her acceptance and love means the world to you. If we give a little kindness, a little understanding, then we get more of it in return. You are right, we should be able to be ourselves and proud. It`s just sometimes a bit hard for our loved ones to see how we feel about things, sometimes we have to help them understand our point of view, by explaining things calmly and with empathy.

    *hugs* the best of luck!
     
    #4 FemCasanova, Jun 8, 2013
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